All That Seems Random Fridays # 16 | Show Up, Be Honest

Wow, it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires. Because we need to CELEBRATE them.



This has been one really busy week. However, that's good. It's been busy good with only the slightest hint of grrrr. I like weeks like this.

The focus has been on figuring out how to move forward with the ItyBites to 10K Challenge. Yes, I know if you clicked over there, it's an echo-ey cave, bereft of well, pretty much anything. Yes, I wrote one article. Yes, I posted it to Hubpages. Yes, it made me a few cents. Literally. Then of course I didn't repeat any of those actions. Something about cleaning up the writing and up comes ugh and grrr.

I have trouble editing, my stuff. I can edit other peoples work with ease, yet my own, ugh, grrr. Which leads me over to my new Mastermind group. If you aren't familiar with the idea of Mastermind groups, Napolean Hill talks about them in "Think and Grow Rich". He defines the "Master Mind" as a "coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people for the attainment of a definite purpose" (Think and Grow Rich, pg 192).

So the group is going to do a round robin style editing process, because apparently I'm not the only one with an issue of this nature. Go figure.

Another big advantage of a Master Mind group is you are automatically surrounding yourself with people in a spirit of harmony. And who could use more harmony in their life?

That's only the start of it. Accountability, idea generation, brain storming, unbiased feedback, yeah Master Mind groups, I should qualify this, good Master Mind groups, are the glue that pulls all your little pieces together.

This was NOT something I expected to receive from attending the Niche Affiliate Marketing System Workshop. That's why you really ought to join me in January 2010 for the NAMS 3. The price is still reasonable, yet it will increase. Mark my words, David Perdew doesn't play those marketing games. If you wait too long you will pay the $697 price. So click up there and reserve your spot for less than half the full price right now.

Oh boy, lots of random notes this week. So many that I'm not even going to try and share them all.

• "[Fall] in love with the needs, wants, and desires of [your] target market." ~ Sonia Simone ~ (No there is no direct link to the article because it was part of the Teaching Sells pre-launch informational process, which is completely gone once Teaching Sells closes to new members. And yes, they are closed. Still, dig into the archives of Remarkable Communication. You'll find even more gems.)
• "Stillness is what is left when you cease to identify with effort". ~ Robert "Butch" James ~
• "Do or do, there is no die." ~ Rhonda Cort ~
• "The destination is what helps you determine what the journey looks like." ~ Gina Gaudio-Graves ~
  
• "Try to ride a bicycle standing still." ~ Maxwell Maltz ~
• Do you have all the 'whats' to put the system together? (Me asking myself)
  

That's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

Make Money Online Mondays | Using PLR

On Friday I mentioned the fact that I purchased private label rights to an e-book. There are tons of people who don't believe it's proper to use other peoples words and pass them off as their own. Nor do I.

However, if you have a reputable source for information, one who can and does research, verify and organize information in a meaningful way, then why wouldn't you use it, especially when it is offered for use?

Still you may not even know exactly what Private Label Rights are? Or what's the best policy for using them? And yes, there are times when you should never use them.

Nicole Dean answers those questions and clears up any confusion below. (I go to the source whenever I can and she's the source for some seriously well written articles.) Okay, I've babbled enough.

Nicole - over to you.

PLR and Ghostwritten Articles: Are they Ethical?
by Nicole Dean

Recently, in an interview, I was asked “Is it ethical to use private label rights and ghostwritten articles?”

Let me step back a moment and explain… Private label rights (or PLR) articles and ghostwritten articles are used by web owners as a method of outsourcing some of their content.

• PLR articles are packages of articles that are pre-written and sold to more than one person. (We recommend this site for your PLR needs.)
• Ghostwritten articles are articles that are written by someone else just for you that you can put your name on and are not sold to anyone else.

In both cases, you are allowed to edit the content as much or as little as you’d like and use the articles on your website, blog, or in your newsletter.

So, back to the question. Is it ethical? My answer was, “usually, yes”.

If you’re using the articles and saying “written by me” without changing anything at all, it may bite you in the butt later, when someone else does the same thing. Does that make it unethical? Not really. It’s just not smart. Can you use the article as it is or edited slightly, without saying it was written by you? Of course!

Most PLR packs are written by ghostwriters. Ghostwriters are professional researchers and writers. If you purchase well-written, informative PLR or ghostwritten articles and share them with your readers, don’t you all benefit? Your readers benefit by getting great information. You benefit by saving time. Is it any different than hiring a graphic designer or webmaster? Not in my opinion. Heck, most politicians don’t write their own speeches. They leave that to people
who are professional speech writers.

Of course, you’d want to only use top-notch PLR articles and not “sell-out” just to pump out blog posts or web pages quicker. We recommend you research thoroughly before choosing any ghostwriter or PLR service.

Here’s what to look for in a PLR service so you don’t waste your money:

1. Make sure the articles are written well.
2. Make sure that you know what topics you’ll receive (instead of some grab-bag of articles).
3. Be sure that the people running the program have some experience in article writing themselves, so they know what they’re doing.

There’s no point in doing everything on your own, especially if you dislike writing. All successful business people outsource the tasks they are not good at or dislike. Check it out. It might take some pressure off you and allow you to spend more time with your kids. And, that’s definitely ethical.

Nicole Dean welcomes you to check out EasyPLR.com – where you’ll find high-quality PLR articles on niches sold in very limited quantities.

All That Seems Random Fridays # 15 | Git 'Er Duuun

Wow it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random, where we share how aware (or not) we've been of the opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires.

This week started off with lots of focus and determination. I began barreling through my action list and noticed a pattern. Not a good pattern either. Following suggestions from speakers at the Niche Affiliate Marketing System Workshop, I chose 3 things from my master TADAH! list, to spend the first part of my day accomplishing.

The action list included:

1. Purchase PLR (private label rights) for an e-book. (I'll talk more about what I'm doing with it on Monday.)
2. Edit the articles I've written to promote the e-book.
3. Upload the e-book to my hosting account.
   

Bright and early Monday morning my list of 3 is waiting on my desk. Beckoning me to begin. And I do. I purchase PLR rights for the e-book. One thing down, two more to do. I open the file with the articles. Wow I wrote 6 articles. I didn't realize that. Okay, so now I've got to edit all six of them. Uh-huh, sigh...

As the sigh fades, my internal critics diatribe, dialogue,, chatter starts - You're not going to get all that done today. You know you're just fooling yourself if you think you're going to get ALL OF THAT done. Then when you don't get ALL OF THAT done you're going to beat yourself up and feel completely useless. Phfft, that's right keep fooling yourself with what you think you can do, that you never get done. It's okay. I"ll be here to keep you company and keep reminding you that you suck at finishing things.

I hear this internal critic start up and realizes she is completely right. I'm am going to beat myself up for not getting it done. I've just set up an unrealistic situation for myself, which confirms that I don't finish and that I don't keep my own word.

My action list of 3 has magically morphed into 7, 9, 12, 14 actions to do today. Action 2 is to edit 6 articles. That's six separate, but same actions. Action 3 is to upload the e-book. It sounds straight forward, only, to properly use PLR material, it has to be rewritten in my voice, with my experiences, then edited for flow, proofread, edited again, properly formatted, then converted to pdf and finally uploaded. Plus, there could be steps I'm missing.


AH-HA.

Sooooooo....

I ask myself a question. What on my new and expanded list is as easy as going to the bathroom? What if I edit one article at a time? Ohh then I'll get 7 items accomplished. Hi fiving myself, celebrating getting more done and maybe not getting everything done. Excited jumping up and down. Do a little dance so my inner child is happy too.

Then I do that for the next 4 days. Yep, Ity Bites people. Ity Bites.

The random notes found on my desk this week, reinforced the learning practiced above:

• "I hope that you will see that no matter where you're at right now in the process of becoming ... YOU CAN DO THIS! Don't ever let anyone, including yourself, tell you otherwise ... Don't condemn yourself to a life of servitude to circumstances and to what others say. How dare they say that about you when you don't know that much about you. Discover who you are. Quality will flow from you because whatever it is you are will shine so brilliantly in your work." ~ John Harricharan ~
  The entire video is below.
  
  


• "...all you need to do is get hip to the simple, easy process of doing what needs to be done to attain what you want." ~ John Carlton ~
  
• Your biggest competitor is you. (From a random salesletter about a Hot Dog Cart Business of all things)
• You must not only want what you want, but you must want what it leads to. French Proverb (thanks go to martinbogo for the share on plurk)
  

That's it for me, what random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?
--
LaShae

Make Money Online Mondays*

*This may or may not become a weekly occurring post.

Wow, I know I keep talking about the Niche Affiliate Marketing System Seminar Workshop and it's because I gained so many insights about where I am and what I want to do to get to where I want to be.

I'm going to repeat the last part of that sentence again - what I want to do to get to where I want to be.

You can gain the same sort of insights about your online endeavors too, by attending the next workshop in January 29, 2010 or you can get the physical 2 Gigabyte thumb drive with the presentations, audios and bonuses from both of the workshops that happened this year.

Now about this make money online thing.

Since I've been online, one thing has always been constant. Me floating from one thing to another ... to another ... then another ... and yet another. Yet I've wondered why income was not increasing.

Uh, DUH if I don't do what gives results and keep doing what doesn't give results, what do I results do I expect to get?

It's true, at least I see that it's true for the people I trust who provide services, connect, create and market products online. They provide value. So what am I doing wrong? (It's a rhetorical question.)

That's just it. I'm doing what I was told to do right? And I'm still not making the money online I want to make. So again, what am I doing wrong?

(screeching brakes) STOP! HOLD IT!

That is the wrong question.

The question to ask is What have I done that generated results? The question to ask after answering the first question is, Did I do the thing that generated results again and again and again?

Yeah, well now it's pretty obvious I wasn't because I keep getting no results. And if I'm getting no results, then I must be doing the things that were getting me no results, instead of what did get results.

That part is pretty simple. I still needed to know what actions get me results.

It's just one more reason to connect in person with people you trust, who are successfully doing what you want to do. It will make your learning curve much less bumpy and you'll get unexpected, yet much needed insights.

If you can't attend or aren't ready to attend make sure to find someone you can trust in whatever area you want to make your money online and find ways to connect with them. Most marketers have blogs and email newsletters you can join. Join them, interact. There is no reason you can't do this. Unless of course you don't do it.

It doesn't take money to get started. It takes courage, desire and action. Those things are free.

--

LaShae

Take small bites - get filled up.

All That Seems Random Fridays # 14 | Yes No Maybe

Wow it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random, where we share how aware (or not) we've been of the opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires.

This week really started last Saturday during the Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar, which is really more workshop than seminar. I worked as an aide and on my own business to get it up and running. I would absolutely recommend going to the next Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar, scheduled for January 2010. Read more about it.

NAMS2Letter

And if you're ready to sign up just go the here.



I met some amazingly great people and joined my first local Meet-UP, ever.

For those who don't know, attending this seminar began as a random email to David Perdew, the founder, in which I asked to be an aide.

I asked.

That's all it took. He emailed back and said yes!

There is magic in asking.

Sometimes we have to ask multiple times. We'll get no as an answer often. Always be prepared for a yes, so you're ready to run with it, because it will come.

While there are other ways of getting answers, asking is the fastest way.

The random notes found this week include:

• You've got to want it like you want air, or like your heart beat. The actions to attain it are rooted and happen without your conscious thought. To get to that point takes work.
• "Marketing is about convincing people to take a specific action." ~ Roy Miller ~
• "It's as though when we start searching, we get caught on the 'searching' and can't deal with finding." ~ Isabel Joely Black ~ @TheCharmQuark on twitter
• When you have to have someone else agree with you, it's a sure sign you don't yet agree with yourself. ~ LaShae Dorsey ~
  

And even more randomness from my email inbox. Today, just before I hit submit on this post. Another note from TUT - you know Totally Unique Thoughts from the Universe. This note made my inbox at 3:33 AM and that was 10 hours ago. (No I don't know much about numerology and numerical sequences but I do recall 10 is completion and 3's are the Trinity.)

Oh, that's easy! You should have asked ages ago!
Let's put it this way: To perform like a "star", to steal the show, and to party with the "Gods" ... take the stage, do the dance, and invite yourself.

Be the spark,

The Universe

Thoughts become things ... choose the good ones! ®
© www.tut.com ®

C'mon, we're waiting ... and these shoes are killing me.

That's it for me, what random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

--
LaShae

The Composition of Hard

Way too many of us, me included, label things as hard.

"It's hard to break bad habits."
"It's hard to start something new."
"I'm having a hard time dealing with ______________. (You filled in the blank didn't you.:)

I've got a theory about hard. Hard is a texture, it's a composition. It's scientifically measurable using Moh's Scale of Mineral Hardness or one of the many other hardness scales.

Hardness is defined as the property of a material that enables it to resist plastic deformation, usually by penetration. However, the term hardness may also refer to resistance to bending, scratching, abrasion or cutting. (Courtesy of http://www.gordonengland.co.uk/hardness/)

Following this definition, the material we have to work with is our thoughts and actions. It's our thoughts about the actions needed, the new and possibly scary something and our feelings about whatever you said when you filled in the blank. We use our thoughts and actions to resist changing. Our thoughts have to be penetrated by new thoughts.

All of the things we want are composed of steps, processes, knowledge and actions we don't currently have and haven't yet experienced. Yet there are plenty of people who have experienced them.

Children see adults walking. And that child decides she wants to walk. At first there are only small movements forward. Before they can walk, they have to learn to turn over. They then learn to push up on their hands and knees or scoot along on their belly. After learning that skill they continue to add to it, crawling, pulling up on things, taking steps while supported and finally taking those first steps alone. They fall down often and cry for a minute, then they get right back up.

Before long you can't catch them, they're running and giggling and having a glorious time. When just a few months ago, they couldn't even turn over on their own.

Us grown ups, we start thinking about how hard something is and we think it's going to be hard to turn over. We think it will be hard to just scoot along for while. We think we'll never run ...

It's. Not. Hard.

It is a composition of new thoughts, actions and experiences.

We want to use hard as an excuse because we think we should know this already or be able to do that better. Should we?

Should we know how to crawl before we can turn over? Should we know how to run, if we can't yet walk?

I'm guilty of those beliefs. I'm guilty of thinking it's hard. I'm even guilty of wasting time being upset with myself for believing and thinking those things. It's a waste of good energy to keep believing and thinking that way.

We don't have to keep lying on our backs kicking our legs in the air in frustration.

This is a small part of what I learned this past weekend networking and helping at the Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar. You can experience the same information when you listen to the presentations from the speakers which you can get here.

If you can't yet turn over or crawl, the beginners rooms in the Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar will get you crawling along. If you can already crawl, the intermediate room will give you the support you need to pull yourself up. If you're already walking, the advance room will get you running, laughing and giggling your way to a sustainable business.

I'll be listening to the Intermediate presentations so next January I'm ready to run.

So what are you ready to do? Are you going to keep calling it hard and lying on your back or are you ready to take the next step from exactly where you are, using exactly what you have right now?

It's time to roll over. You can do this. I'm here to help.

I'll end this with a quote from TUT (Totally Unique Thoughts from The Universe)

The real reason so many have trouble with baby steps, --doing all they can, with what they've got, from where they are, no matter how humble or seemingly futile -- is because they haven't yet grasped that the baby steps trigger unseen forces that throw wide the floodgates of unstoppable momentum, infinite abundance, and eternal life.

Just some tiny steps,

The Universe

 Thoughts become things ... choose the good ones! ®

© www.tut.com ®

Just as an FYI, if you want to attend the next Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar, sign up before the end of day Monday, August 31st to receive the biggest savings. If you know you can't attend in January, go ahead and get the Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar Thumb Drive which has all the presentations, questions, training material and bonus material from the last two workshops. I'm positive the price on the thumb drive is going up but right now, just before posting this it was still $97. Use the code on the bottom of the page to get that price.

I hope to see you there and help you here.
--
Keep taking ItyBites!

Until next time,

LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays #13 | I'm At The Niche Affiliate Seminar

It's not Friday the 13th, but this is the 13th All That Seems Random Friday. I'm attending the Niche Affiliate Marketing System Workshop in Atlanta.  I'll be here all weekend, helping workshop attendees, meeting new people, learning tons and tons of information and applying it during and after the workshop.

The random notes from this week:

 

• Someone asked me on Saturday: Why do it now, it's not that bad is it? Me: It's called maintenance, why wait until it's 'that bad'?
• Sometimes the answer really is staring you in the face, if you want to see it.

There is much randomness to discuss, yet it will have to wait until next week. Until then what random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

 
--
LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 12 | but, But, BUT. . .

It's Friday and boy it got here fast. I woke up thinking it wasn't Friday at all. And suddenly I realized, yeah it actually is Friday, wow and this weeks All That Seems Random is just gone, disappeared because I did a lot of oh, but I'll...

Like I had something and I said oh, but I'll remember that. It's too good to forget. Obviously although it was good, I forgot it.

Then there was this other thing and yeah oh, but I'm sure to remember this. It's so important and funny. Erm, not so much.

So my apologies for not actually writing them down so I could tell you about them. It's been a tough week. And I've been napping a lot.

I did write down some random tidbits this week.

• [You] can't intelligently use what [you] don't consciously know [you] have. I'm not sure where I got the quote from since I didn't write it down.
• The biggest mistake is to keep making the same mistake, even after you know it's a mistake.
• There is a difference between self-deprecation and humility. With the first you have a need to make yourself look less than. With the second there are no underlying needs.

That's what I've got.

What random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?
--
LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 11 | Cats, Dreams and Catch 22's

The Dream In Which I Was A Child During World War II

I was walking all through this house looking at everything. I found myself in the middle of an argument between two older children about fighter pilots and who was going to win World War II. We had an older brother?, uncle? who also lived in the house, off fighting and I wandered into his room, which was just like he left it. I picked up a brush and saw a letter. It was then I saw, what I believed to be a mobile diorama above my head of Japanese and American airplanes, in a dog fight. There was lots more to the dream but the important part was, I woke up thinking about catch-22's.

How  Does All That Seem Random



A quick search revealed Heller's book Catch-22. I've never read the book, but according to Wikipedia "it's is a satirical, historical novel by the American author Joseph Heller, first published in 1961. The novel, set during the later stages of World War II from 1943 onwards, is frequently cited as one of the great literary works of the twentieth century. It has a distinctive non-chronological style where events are described from different characters' points of view and out of sequence so that the time line develops along with the plot" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catch-22).

Wikipedia goes on to say that Catch 22 refers "to absurd, no-win choices, particularly in situations in which the desired outcome of the choice is an impossibility, and regardless of choice, the same negative outcome is a certainty" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Heller).

To put it less elegantly it's that place where you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. So I say just be damned and get on with it.

When, make that, if we are honest with ourselves, the situations we label as catch 22 always have a third, fourth, fifth even tenth option we are choosing to be unaware of until we decide to become aware of it.

<Quick Aside> That whole thing about not being aware of something until you're aware of it is just weird right. Because usually it's always been there or at least the concept of it has been there for a while and yet we couldn't choose to or didn't want to see it. Other people see it though and they sometimes wrongly assume we do too. The people who see it either don't point it out or when/ if they do point it out we choose to continue denying that they've pointed it out. We dismiss it because it doesn't fit with the choices we want to allow ourselves. It's as if all those other choices just don't exist for us. </Quick Aside>

So what do catch 22's have to do with the randomosity?

Well...

Making the Connection

There was a whole diatribe describing my week but the salient and necessary point turned out to be this:

The universe provided a little nudge and said, here is a really tiny sliver of X, the same X you keep talking about having, doing, being. And my response to that tiny sliver of X went something like this: ugh, uh no, nunh unh, gah get X away from me. I don't want to have, be or do X like that. Can't I have, be, do X some other way?

and then my subconscious? unconscious? provided the answer.

No. Who do you think you are to not accept the X being provided? Especially after you've spent all this time asking for X this way and all these random events have conspired to bring you X the way you asked for it and now you don't want it?

A Clowder of Cats

A clowder is a group of adult cats. Yeah here is when random cats show, in the middle of the road and not moving out of the middle of the road as a big huge Eddie Baur Expedition barrelled towards them. No movement. None except eyes seeing me, watching me. Then when we left 10 minutes later even more cats in the middle of the road, unmoving as a Centurian rolls past.

Hmm, curious child in a dream, lots of cats maintaining their position surrounding something captured possibly, oh, yeah, it's time to get curious.

1. Is that true, I really don't want X or just don't want X the way X was coming to me, even though I was asking for X to come that way?
2. If I don't want X the way that way, am I wrong as in are the people I want to use X to serve going to look at me like I'm a flake for changing my mind and asking for X to come some different way?
3. Am I being ungrateful for X by not accepting it and being happy with it, taking it the way it's coming?
4. What is this belief that I have to accept X the way it's coming or I'm being ungrateful?

The last question led me to realize, I am grateful for the small sliver of X and the way it came because now I know that I definitely do not desire any larger amounts of X in that particular way but I still want X. Informational, helpful and now I know I can cross having, doing, being X that way off my list.

Asking those questions and having those epiphanies (were those epiphanies?) brought up some of my other stuff.

The need to be invisible, the lack of trust, the self-doubt, avoidance and fear that I'll be found out.

If X is bringing all that up, do I really want to deal with all that to get the right, best X for me? Would you, if you knew that dealing with it and moving forward even if they are ItyBites is what it takes so you can have, do and be X?

Dissolution of the Catch-22.

There is no catch 22 and yet knowing that to keep moving towards X, requires dealing with emotional stuff and ending the over/double thinking, changing the engrained bad habits and poor patterns of thought certainly makes it feel like "no-win choices...[where] the same negative outcome is a certainty".

Yet, I'm studying people, who have overcome everything and more than I'm facing. So there is no catch 22 and there is a lot of information, helpfully seemingly random information available to us, all the time.

It's up to us to make the decision to see.

Whatever it takes, right?

With that, what random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

* X is pretty much anything you've decided and committed yourself to doing, whether publicly and/or privately.

--

LaShae

Practical and SMARTER goal setting ala Tim Brownson

You are exactly where you are now.
~Tim Brownson~

So profound. So true. So outrageous. So now.

I am exactly where I am now.

What does it mean though?

No I'm not going to answer the question directly because where in the world is the fun in that. Plus, only you know where you are now. I don't know. I can guess. I'd probably be wrong.

Also Tim mentions how our brain or rather our unconsciousness doesn't want to make us look a fool, when setting and talking about our big fat audacious goal in the present tense, which is the most suggested method for talking about our goal.

The example he uses is, "I'm a healthy weight with a body that Zeus/Apollo would kill for." Stating this goal or whatever your goal statement is, is going to press some kind of button somewhere in your psyche. Which is usually the very reason we don't make these kinds of statements in the first place.

The button is most likely going to be one of two:

No
Yes

If the button pushed is yes and your belief is also yes and the proof used to form your belief is also yes, you just might be on the verge of being a little too egotistical. Not a bad thing exactly, yet too much more yes button pushing for you just might cause your head to implode or more likely for someone to want to make your head implode. But since you have a body that Zeus or Apollo would kill for, you just shoot lightening rods from your eyes and scare them off before they actually tell you what they think about what you think about yourself.

photo by kimberlykv
However, if the answer is no, you probably feel distracted by the chocolate cake I've introduced to your imagery banks with the photo on the left. You might even feel lethargic and overwhelmed when considering the huge freaking chasm between what you really believe, "oh my good that cake looks good, I want cake" and that sentence you keep trying to tell yourself that goes

uh

how again?

Oh yeah,

"I'm a healthy weight with a body that Zeus/Apollo would kill for."

Wow, sarcasm anyone, anyone? No oh well.

And this is the funny thing and also what is known as a sign of mental illness according to some therapists, psychologists, counselors and a sign of damnation according to some clergy - both yes and no buttons being pushed simultaneously.

So how do you move forward or move at all for that matter when your yes button has your ego blown way out of reality and your no button is doing it's best to sabatoge the out of proporotion ego created by the yes button?

No, I really don't know, which is why I keep consulting therapists, psychologists, counselers and clergy. Anybody got any practical ideas?

P.S. I know that no one really comments here, mostly because I never really tell anyone that I've posted anything, so I'm going on the only fair assumption I can go on. No one sees what I talk about or I talk about it so clearly and cleverly that I use up all the words. However, honestly between you and me, or is it, you and I, whatever, if you are reading this, it's the former right?

P.S.S. Since I'm assuming you think it's the former, please leave a comment below because you have a solution or a suggestion about how to move forward while your yes button and no button are being pushed. Or if you know about exactly where you are now and just want to talk about it, you can leave that comment too. Thanks!

P.S.S.S If you don't want to comment, don't assume that you need to, at least though find me on twitter or plurk and say hi. I obviously need friends.

All That Seems Random # 10 | Bushels of Random

But I'm only going to talk about two things this week.

1. Straining, even after I talked about not straining. It's a good thing Men With Pens came along and reminded me How to Make Scary Big Shits Stuff Happen. Reminders = good.

2. Wanting to "buy" stuff, because to buy the stuff means to buy the promise the marketing makes and when you're straining, and you know you're straining, a promise of relief is tempting. Tempting indeed.

Seriously, that's it for me until next week.

What random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?
--
LaShae

All That Seems Random # 9 | Mental Contortionist

or sometimes it's dark because we're looking in the wrong place.

A contortionist, much like a magician, an overnight success or a popstar create an illusion by specializing in the skills that show off their most flexible joints (their strengths), with the help of their acting talent (practice) and mime skills (watching, waiting, taking appropriate action).

Not that it's an illusion really, they've just made it look easy because of all the hard work, consistent practice, patience and action that we never actually see happen.

We (that totally means me when I say we) have mentally contorted the things we want or say we want because it's easier be wowed by the illusion and then to pretend our thing is much to hard for us to get. Or pretend it's just too far out of our reach and therefore just plain unattainable for us.

It's not true. A simple example.

One of my dearest friends had to perform a task last week for her employer. It wasn't necessarily a difficult task as it involved dropping something off and picking it up. Very straight forward conceptually. However the implementation was much less so.  The implementation required figuring out a route to the location. Easy enough with mapquest or google maps but then there were the known facts.

Traffic in Atlanta sucks, especially so if it's raining.
The location was in the opposite direction of every thing she ever does (her words).
She and her husband share a vehicle.
She doesn't particularly like to drive.
The drop off location closed at 7:30 PM.
She can always get the vehicle when needed but it requires coordination and her doing lots of driving.
Did I mention traffic in Atlanta is horrible and she doesn't like driving.

So she was envisioning this task as crap, hard, irritatingly out of the way and ugh with lots of driving.

The imagined dread and mental contortion needed to complete this task brought her to a standstill. Then she felt a little pull that said, just wait.

Ooh, easy, she can do that well. So she did.

Turns out two days later, one of the many backgammon gatherings she and her husband enjoy was within 20 yards of where she had to do the drop off / pick up.

The informal backgammon gatherings don't usually happen there. The last one she remembered happening in this far away, hard to get to suburb of Atlanta happened in January or February. She didn't know it was going to happen until a few hours before it did because of the informal nature of the thing.

So this thing she had to do that looked like a raging, river of bad Atlanta traffic and her driving through it, turned out to be some quick walking across a grassy divide and having fun. She dropped the item off, played some backgammon, picked the item up and played some more backgammon.

She avoided all the issues she believed would make this task impossibly hard.

The reality was much nicer and way more fun although getting to the reality required, listening to her little voice and waiting.

That leads us to the random tidbits of which there were only two on the desk this week:

• "Staying the course is NOT the same as clinging to a HOW."
• "You only have to do a little each day, to get a ton done."

Both quotes are from  ~Totally Unique Thoughts from The Universe~

So what random events have shown up in your life, to help you stop making things harder than they really are, that aren't really random at all?

--

LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 8 | Don't "Buy" Stuff

It appears we might be in the midst of a recession, only appearances can be very deceiving. What looks like loss is really gain, only we have our heads turned the wrong way.

I know, I know, people losing jobs, losing homes, taking their life because of it. So it must be bad. Then all those celebrity deaths in the span of 10 days or so. It just seems so random and pointless and...and....and....

Why did all this happen? What is going to happen next?

Those are easily answerable questions, however it's likely that most people (me included) don't want to hear the easy answer because it contradicts what we believe. Living with a contradiction is one of the hardest things to do and we avoid those contradictions through denial.

Sometimes that keeps us safe, insulated from the pain we can't handle in that moment, however sometimes, that same denial keeps us away from everything we know we want.

So as I was practicing my denial a few nights ago, I ran up on this video.



I love how it completely contradicts the very essence of how we are being guided to come out of the apparent recession. Is denial doing us more harm than good?

I had to quit my job in order to stop practicing certain forms of denial.

Nothing wrong with that, expect it goes against and contradicts the mentality of most of the people around me. If I knew then, what I know now right :) (I'd probably do the same thing but who can ever really say because I can't unknow what I know.)

Still the events of the last 19 months have been so strange, yet just right, that this idea of randomness doesn't make much sense anymore.

It feels like I'm babbling about something that is floating just beneath the surface, that slips away just as I wrap my hands around it. I know what it looks like. I know how it feels and I'd like to show it to you only, I haven't yet grasped it.

Anyway, randomness. I'm reading "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell. He talks about Three Mile Island and how "five completely unrelated events occurred in sequence" and almost caused a nuclear meltdown, but "each of which, had it happened in isolation, would have caused no more than a hiccup."

I read that passage, re-read it and re-read it again. Our lives work very much the same way. We have all these random events that we don't really pay any attention to because they cause "no more than a hiccup". Coupled with the fact that we are practicing the harmful denial and we miss these little opportunities which could lead us to, well to . . . everything we know we want.

Yeah. Or we don't miss them. It's a choice, a decision.

As is the custom, there are some random tidbits floating around and here they are:

• Does "behavior" disappear automatically once the lesson is learned?
• "If the cannibus industry were to expand greatly, it couldn't do so by increasing the number of casual users. It would have to create and maintain more chronic zonkers." Mother Jones July/Aug 2009 "The Patriots Guide to Legalization", pg. 49 (I don't know. This just struck me as important to something that has nothing to do with cannibus.)
  
• Thoughts are useless if they are not practiced. ~John Delavera~
• My pain pales when compared to anothers, yet when I sit beside myself, I see how bright I am truly. ~Rhonda LaShae~
• Be patient, persistent and excited.

That's my week folks.

What random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

All That Seems Random Fridays # 7 | The Clear as Mud Edition

Hi again. Yep, it's Friday and that means it's time for the randomosity. Diving right in.

You can find so much information on the internet about 'how to' do just about anything and yet you're still confused about how to do whatever it is you want to do. (That was me talking to myself earlier this week.)

You know the information is out there but you don't know the right questions to ask or you know so very little that it's even hard to ask questions.

I've been listening recently to someone explain some concepts that are clear as day to them and clear as mud to me. They want to help me understand, yet because they're so far beyond me, they can't remember which parts they didn't know first.

And I'm so lost I don't have a clue of what questions to ask. This happens Every. Single. Day. even now, after having done all this stuff that was supposed to stop that from happening. You'd think it wouldn't continue to happen right? I mean in school we learn how to ask the questions we need to ask, yes? And parents eagerly answer all of our childhood questions, yes? And then ask us if we have more questions, right?

That's when I realized, I know exactly what questions to ask, but I'm afraid to ask them because they will make me seem, sound, look, appear to be, label me as dumb and stupid.

Woah, where did those words come from? Who told me asking questions would make me look dumb and stupid? Who?

Yes, exactly, who did tell me that? I don't remember, but I know I learned it somewhere.

Learned it. Which means I can unlearn it. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!



That's the kind of thinking that opens up so many avenues in the brain and gets you buzzed to move.

And move I am, see below. The other thing that can happen is choking on the idea of unlearning what you've learned and that is not what we want to happen.

How can we avoid choking on this. ItyBites. Write it down (that's where all these random tidbits come from during the week.) Then keep doing what you were doing before you had the thought. The thought is doing the work it needs to do and is creating some new neural connections in your brain. It up to you to use those connections though.

You know, use it or lose it.

And that my friends leads me directly to the random tidbits found on my desk after the cleaning/clearing session...

• Real confusion is not knowing when you're holding onto thoughts, beliefs and concepts which are contradicting each other and ultimately cancel one another out. It's acting out both beliefs in sequence and finding the results ultimately canceling each other out.
• The most efficient way to rebuild trust in yourself is to do the things you say you will do, not the things for other people but the ones you tell yourself that no one else ever hears or knows about.*
• Make the reality bigger than the promise.

*The link leads another blog on which I'm challenging myself to do a thing (and ask the questions). I'm just making myself even more accountable to doing the thing by sharing with you. It's specifically about marketing on the internet...which led me into a contest. Go check it out if you're curious. Nothing to buy there.

Well that's it for me. What random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

-

LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays #6 | Gardens, Words & Intentions

This is the first time since starting this tradition that a post has not wanted to be written.

I started this post around 8:30am my time. It's is now after 2:30pm and have only just hit the publish button.

First, there were words. There's always words and yet this time...

One of my hastily scrawled notes this week (I'll list the others near the end) said, "It is a steady process. Until it is a steady process it's a slow process. What looks like a chasm now is only a step from another perspective."

Consistent. Steady. Process. Three words that as I type them I notice a few things, first they have some very strong unconscious associations including:

plodding
molasses
forever
unending
encumbered
excruciating

Just typing the associated words makes me feel like I'm moving s o m u c h s l o w e r t h a n n o r m a l . G a h !

My reactions seem slower, which might not be such a bad thing. My thoughts are flowing like sticky sap through my fingers and into the keyboard more slowly. I'm also editing as I go instead of letting the slow thought seep out. Plus on top of all that I'm also wondering how long this post is going to take to write.

My internal dialogue is saying things like, this post is going to take forever, haha you've gone and done it, now you have to be consistent with ATSRF, you shouldn't be doing this anyway, no one cares about random, you're wasting your time, you could be doing something productive.

More GAH!. Now the effects of the words and associations make me want to go into overcompensation and move like Speedy Gonzales, just so I can get back to what I consider normal for me.

Words have this affect, in some completely unique way, on all of us. The phenomenon itself isn't unique to just me or you.

To clear my head and get back my normal, I step outside. Immediately I wish the LawnMower man had access to the backyard, so he could cut it. Next I immediately think about gardening. Gardening, me, seriously? The only step I've ever participated in when it comes to gardening, is harvesting.

I know nothing about prepping, watering, weeding, maintaining or growing and waiting, just harvesting and the eating of yummy spring, summer and fall fruits & veggies.

While I don't dismiss the idea, of me gardening, as absurd, a garden does take active planning. It is not a right now endeavor. Which is fine because right now I'm trying to clear my head and write a post for ATSRF. I'm staying with the intent of being consistent. I head inside.

As soon as I sit down, the phone rings and not only is it someone I enjoy talking to, she is offering me fresh grown vegetables, which were left on her doorstep.

Totally random, people I swear.

Don't ask me how, but after 7 hours of writing this post, I have come to the random tidbits found on my desk after the cleaning/clearing session...

• I have 'right now''
• Childhood desires play out in adult life
• Make sure you get what you need
• Focus on the why of what you want because the why guides and encourages you to do the what and learn the how.

That sit for me, what random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

All That Seems Random Friday #5 | Adventures in Going to The Bathroom

Yep this week it seemed random that I had about 10,000 conversations with people about going to the bathroom*. Well fine it was more like 2 and they both led to this weeks All That Seems Random adventures. I'm only going to talk about one of those conversations.

It's the one that had to do with actually finding your ItyBite. I used this on my mom, of all people, and she laughed and got it, so I'm sharing it here to make sure I get it.

Make your next action step as easy and transparent as going to the bathroom.

If that thing you put on your list to do isn't as easy as going to the bathroom, then that thing is NOT your next action step.
If you are straining to do that thing on your list that someone suggested you do, then doing it is NOT your next action.

Okay, it's here that I need to back up just a little. Que the standard movie flashback music.

We were all tiny little babies and we pooped our diapers. A loving parent, grandparent, sibling, friend, heck someone (hopefully) came along and cleaned us up. Slowly as we grew older one of those adults around us decided it was time we were potty trained. They decided it was time for us to become a big girl or big boy and start learning to clean up our own mess. We learned this lesson, some of us kicking and screaming, some of us eager and willing. Either way we learned it and learned it well (Yes I know there are wives, girlfriends & mothers out there who believe they know someone who didn't learn it well. Yes. I. Know.) After we learned how to use the big people potty, we felt pride at being able to do it for ourselves. Our care givers got a kick out of hearing us say, "I can do it by myself." Because really who wants to wipe someone else's ass if they're able to do it themselves.

Now, when we have to go to the bathroom, we don't even think about the how. We just go. It's automatic. We don't have to have a checklist. And we generally only have a question if we're somewhere unfamiliar.

Ah, that is the random part.

The thing is when we've got to go to the bathroom and don't know where it is, we don't hesitate to find someone who looks like they know. We can only do the I gotta go right now shuffle dance for so long.

So I'll say it again, Make your next action step as easy and transparent as going to bathroom.

Then go to the bathroom because who cares how many times you have to stop and ask where a bathroom is, when you gotta go!

The other conversation was about straining and things that help us stop straining. That's another post for another time.

Lest I forget, there were a few random tidbits found on my desk after the cleaning/clearing session

• Getting into a funk is a matter of nature, staying in a funk is a matter of choice.
• You're not even sure if your thing is a business & if it is you certainly aren't calling it that yet.
• High speed internet and a quiet hand holding zone
• Millionaires serve others something of value
  

So that's it for me.

What random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

*I think it's appropriate that we talk about going to the bathroom, I mean after all this is a place where ItyBites are being taken Every. Single. Day.

All That is Random # 4 - Just a little link crazy

It's Friday and a fine one it is. The birds are in rare form this morning I'm sitting here listening to a symphony of bird song with the coo of turtle doves as the base notes.

So I'll swoop right into All That is Random.

"It would seem as we get clear on what we want, the hows, whats and whos show up in our faces, right where they've been all along." Rhonda LaShae

I'll warn you before you get too involved, this is one of those posts that links to a bunch of stuff.

In my google reader yesterday, there was a blog post from sufi healer, heart centered business founder, father of twins Mark Silver. (clicking his name will take you to his about page.)

I'm not certain how or why it showed up. For those who know what google reader does, you're going, that's totally expected, it's supposed to show up, so what? Or you could even be thinking well, she obviously doesn't know how the google reader technology works but that's not what I'm talking about.

I read the blog post. I re-read the blog post. I clicked the link to comment on the blog post. Nothing. 404 Error Page. Huh. Now I'm confuzzled. The post was exactly what I needed, right when I needed it. And I wanted to thank Mark for writing it. So the part that makes no sense is that the blog post is nowhere on his blog or his archives or even his newsletter. Which means I can't link to it to share it with you.

(EDIT: The post didn't show up until June 16, 2009. How do I know that? Because now there is a link http://www.heartofbusiness.com/avoiding-www/ dated June 16, 2009. Weird, but not really weird.)

Completely makes me sad and curious. I love getting curious. So I started digging through his archives and man on man, it's a vein of gold. Gold I tell ya. Okay I already knew this but still something from 2006 or 2007 is relevant today. I mean really it's over two years old how could it be relevant, now. (Uh that was sarcasm.)

This vein of archival gold is deep. Check them out. I would link to everything I found, but you would need a few weeks and plus that's not an ItyBite is it? Just head to his blog http://www.heartofbusiness.com/blog/ . Look for the search box in the upper right hand corner and type in a word or a phrase. You'll find something helpful. Seriously. Even if it has nothing to do with business.

So far I've typed in 'help', 'resonance', 'getting started' and a few other terms and lets just say my weekend will be full of reading, then doing.

I especially liked this post I found for getting started http://www.heartofbusiness.com/visualizing-your-way-to-success-uh-no/

Okay, hmm what else. Oh yes, this video, for this book by author Katherine Center had me crying (literally and metaphorically) in a plurk last night.

Katherine's book and message reminds me of a poem my mom wrote about a question I aksed her when I was young. "Momma am I pretty?"

You can read the plurk and watch the video right there in the plurk. It's one of the many reasons I love plurking. I'll be honest, I have yet to purchase the book but it's going on my wishlist and will most likely end up being a stocking stuffer for the women and young girls in my life.

Let's see random notes found this week

• blogging, paypal, ar, twitter, plurk, article marketing
• 5 people 1 help
• natural limits vs ?
• business vs avocation - both
• 15 to 16 years to pay off all debts and that's only so long as no new debts are introduced (this one has me shaking my head. I don't like it. Not. one. little. bit - that's just too long for debt repayment)

So that's it for me.

What random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?


--

Are You Getting Good Help From the Beginning?

I heard a shrill whistle and what sounded like hundreds of balls bouncing not quite in unison. The noise died down a little and that's when I heard the laughter.

They couldn't be laughing at me yet, as I hadn't made my way through the door. I felt sorry for whoever it was though. (Turns out Coach was a real comedian.)

My hand was shaking and my heart was racing as I grasped the metal door clasp and slowly, cautiously pulled the door towards me.

The humidity outside pressed me through the door and into a small atrium. I wasn't sure I wanted to do what I was about to do, but just before I turned to flee, I heard a voice from my right say,

"Are you here for try-outs? What grade are you in?"

I stammered, "uh. . . 8th, but I . . ."

My eyes adjusted to the dim light inside and I saw someone loom over me and felt her grab my hand.

I heard her yell, "Coach we've got one more for 8th grade."

She dragged me across the gym and to the bleachers where a crowd of girls I recognized but didn't know very well, were sitting.

I sat down on the end of the bleacher and looked around me. It looked like they all knew what they were doing. They all looked the part. They had on the school colors and high top sneakers and sports bras under their tank top jerseys.

I suddenly felt the need to disappear, quickly.

Coach had to teach me everything because I knew absolutely nothing about basketball.

http://theory-and-practice.com

He told us how hard it was going to be. Everything he expected from us. He gave us a list of items we would need to buy and he gave us the practice schedule.

The Coach stood in front of us and smiled as he said, "I don't decide on the cuts to make for the team. I've told you everything you'll need to do. Those of you who do it, make the team. You'll make the cut for yourself or you won't. It's up to you. I'm here to help you learn basketball, teamwork and dedication. I've brought the Varsity Team in to help me. If you show up, watch and practice, I promise you'll improve. That's all I promise. The rest is up to you."

Everyone who made the team grew to appreciate what Coach taught us.

I've carried it with me and it's the same attitude I bring to using the interwebs to help people share the things they love and make money doing it.

Show up, watch, do it (practice) and improve.

The first step is showing up.

http://theory-and-practice.com

David Perdew happens to be the coach and founder for the Niche Affiliate Marketing System workshop. I met David in 2006 and his attitude reminds me of my middle school basketball coach.

David said at the beginning of 2007, "If you (or anyone else) are serious, willing to do the work and can stash any of the "Yes, but..." attitude that kills all our ambitions -- you'll learn how..."

He's doing it.  And he wants to help  others do it. He's even starting from where ever you happen to be starting in your online journey.

Show up, watch, do it and you'll succeed. Plus, you'll have a Varsity team of Internet Marketing Veterans to take you by the hand, lead you through the drills and work with you on your shots.

It's happening, in Atlanta, GA from August 14-17, 2009 and you can find out more details when you click the link below:

When you show up, you'll find a workshop unlike any other you've seen or been involved in.

http://theory-and-practice.com

For three days in the Niche Affiliate Marketing System workshop, Veteran marketers Willie Crawford, Mark Hendricks, Chris Lockwood, Kathleeen Gage, Lynn Terry, Alan R. Bechtold, David Preston, Jeff Herring, Cathy Perkins, Cindi Dawson, Rob Anderson, Joe Marsh and coach David Perdew will teach nuts and bolts results - not theory! This is a workshop with drills on the spot.

Each presentation is followed by 2 to 2 1/2 hours of real small group hands-on implementation. (I'll be there along with 9 others to help you do what needs to be done and answer those questions you think might be dumb questions because everyone else already seems to know the answer.)

No matter what your experience level is, this workshop is created specifically to help build your business.

Coach Perdew's goal is to have 100 percent of the students make money during the weekend event in their chosen niche.

Bring your computer and be ready to take your shot.
 
Hope to see you there:
http://theory-and-practice.com

All That Seems Random #3

This week has been full of downs, then ups and news, lots and lots of news, good news only I can't share it yet. And I'm busting to share it, really seriously busting.

I can tell you the first ItyBites journey is picking up speed and there will be a case study ready to be shared with you in just a few weeks. It's such a wonderful story too.

This week has been a confirmation that congruent thoughts and inspired actions, even when they look small, create some amazingly deep and wide ripples.

Plus, because this is the "All That Seems Random" post, it feels apropo that Totally Unique Thoughts from The Universe put this in my email inbox this morning.

The baby steps in the beginning of a journey, LaShae, always seem inadequate compared to the brilliance of the dream that inspired them. This is natural. If the dream wasn't so far "out there" and dazzling, it wouldn't be worth dreaming! Just don't be led to think that the physical ground you cover with your baby steps is all that they accomplish. Because for every mortal step you take, another cog in a giant wheel behind the curtains of time and space advances, and with it, 10,000 new possibilities.

Better than Star Trek,
    The Universe

So very true and this week has been a complete confirmation that there is a cog behind a curtain and I'm boy do I believe in the nonrandomness that is.

Also the other random tidbits found after clearing my desk this week

• Refrigerated pudding = Kozy Shack (Yeah because even though I'm training for a 1/2 marathon, I gotta get my sweet on.)
  
• Behave your way back into it
• Develop, Plan, Coordinate, Implement
• Admit you made a mistake. Go on admit it. It's only hard if you don't admit it.
  

Finally, there is one more thing and it deserves it's own post, it's that important. It has to do with some serious hand holding and I've never been involved in anything like it, until now. I'll share on Monday. Promise!

So how about you, what random events are happening in your life, that aren't really random at all?

All That Seems Random Friday #2

Uhm, wow it's Friday, again. And it seems way to fast to be here, again.

So let's just dive right in.

Random notes found on my desk this week include:

• Aim to get good first. Then aim to get results. (I no longer agree with this statement. I think results are more important because they offer the necessary feedback and help create the momentum necessary to get good.) Still it is written as I found it on my desk.)
  
• It's inevitable when small shifts begin happening within us regarding money, emotions, health and spirit, these shifts eventually come to affect our relationships.
• Feet of clay. Does anyone have a clue about this and it's mention in the bible?
• You don't want to change what you're doing or how you're doing it, yet you want different results. Crazy!

I'm learning and practicing The Art of Taking ItyBites and I over ate on Thursday. In fact it was the perfect, 'don't do this at home if you want to take ItyBites' moment and it all seemed so random. As if that is possible.

I'm running again, well more like a slow jog that the dogs think is great because now they don't run out of leash as quickly as when I was just walking.

What does that have to do All That Seems Random, you ask?

Weeellll - it's a little weird, even for me. A little back story. I knew of Louise Hay but I avoided her books. I ended up with one a few weeks ago and started reading it, "You Can Heal Your Life" and I was drawn to her List near the end of the book. I read the List. I nodded my head a few times. Okay a whole lot and thought hmm this makes sense. I wonder how true it is?

Now I know.

The idea that ankles and feet have to do with movement and direction. So the fact that I immediately found the breathing process I need to use to run longer and further distances, had me doing what my body wasn't yet trained or prepared to do. Coupled with the fact that I wasn't listening to my body tell me this and also wasn't paying attention to where I was placing my foot because I was so in awe of the fact that I had almost run a half mile non-stop, a rock from the left side of the road crept onto the pavement from it's gravel bed along the edge of the road and slipped itself under my right foot in exactly the right way to cause a level 1 sprain of my right ankle and cause me to limp the remainder of the way home.

Now it seems as though some part of me doesn't want to easily move forward. That could be with the running or 'the thing I've yet to share with you'. It also seems I'm questioning all my movement and my current direction. Plus, I feel as though I'm moving way too fast and I'm not moving fast enough.

How's that for All That Is Random?

What about you? What random events are happening in your life, that aren't really random at all?