It's downright frightening and scary and big and audacious, like an elephant that you've been told you have to eat, no matter what.
The dream never really goes away, although it may morph and bend becoming almost unrecognizable.
The dream might often nag Tap, tap, tap, hey remember me, I'm still here and waiting. Or it might sneak up on you boo and scare the heebie jeebies out of you.
I keep getting these little sparks of insight about my mom and her dream.
I'm feeling ambivalence, uncertainty and frustration. There is some fear mixed in and a whole heap of salty.
The salty is mine for sure. I keep asking myself what the heck I think I'm doing and who gave me the right to do it?
Boy that answer is a mixed bag.
I'm certain, I love a challenge. Big Hairy Audacious Elephant, bring it on.
I keep wondering though, what power do I have to help her make her dream come true?
How much work should I be doing for her dream? Am I in this for real, for the long haul? What is my why?
What is this resistance?
The first thing that comes up is money, definitely. That's my response to her resistance.
The budget is $0.
I keep thinking she doesn't want this badly enough to make it happen.
I keep thinking it's just too big and hairy and audacious.
I keep thinking.
Wait, what is she thinking?
Why not just ask her?
So I'll ask her:
- What does 'being a published poem book author' look like to you mom?
- What feelings do you have when you think about it?
- What things do you see yourself doing as 'a published poem book author' that you don't see yourself doing right now?
This will give me a much better perception of what this looks like to her, because right now, I'm only seeing this from my perspective and our two perspectives are different. I'm not sure what she's looking at but I'm looking at a Publishing Empire, (muwhahaha)Um wait did I say that out loud?
So this resistance from her is what?
I'm going to ask her, right now and see what she has to say.
Stay tuned. Stay Hungry.
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