An Appropriate ... A Note from the Universe

Should you choose to go, do, and be, at the end of your life, shocked and dismayed, you'll likely exclaim that because of all the uncanny events, wild timing, weird coincidences, and sheer chance encounters, all of your life's good fortune must have been your destiny. Or, should you choose to wait, wish, and hope, at the end of your life, shocked and dismayed, you'll likely exclaim that because of all the uncanny events, wild timing, weird coincidences, and sheer chance encounters, all of your life's bad luck must have been your destiny. Do you see what the difference is? It ain't me,     The Universe

We're still soaring with joy over the release of Infinite Possibilities! "Mike Dooley has tapped into a reservoir of wisdom that most of us swim in but fail to notice... He's thought it through from beginning to end and it shows in this stellar book." - Dr. Susan Corso, The Huffington Post Mike's "Magnum Opus" on the nature of reality! 34% off at Amazon!

Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ® © www.tut.com ®

Destinies are a dime a dozen. The Club    The "NOTES"    Gifts Project    The Celebration  &nbsp Shop    E*Cards    Become part of TUT's NEW community! Click Here! Infinite Possibilities CELEBRATION... Click Here! Our awesome CELEBRATION Sponsors... Click Here!

If you're looking for the All That Seems Random Fridays head over to ItyBytes. I'm still working on the place but you're more than welcome to come on in.

Hey It's Friday and All That Seems Random is Waiting

Where I stop being a narcissist blogger. I reveal the true reason I did the experiment. I reveal the experiment.

And you get help at the end. If you want it or need it.

Where is all that happening?

The place where we all admit how technically ungifted we are.

Day One of The Party At My New Blog House

STOP!!! spending too much money trying to do what you're wanting to do and find the heart in your business, first.

Then and only then make the plan.

Two Deer, Right Brains & Reiki | All That Seems Random Fridays # 25

Wow, it's Friday again Saturday morning and I was moving blog homes, which means it's time for All That Seems Random Fridays, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires. Because we need to CELEBRATE them.

Speaking of celebrating, you can do that with me starting Saturday November 14th going all the way through the next All That Seems Random Friday on November 20th.

This is a free form party and I'm allowing inspired intent to guide me. We'll see where we end up and of course there will be gifts. For YOU!

Two deer cross a road.

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

Yeah, I thought it was a joke too, only two deer did cross the road and it was one of the most random things EVER for me. See I grew up on this road. Biked it. Walked it. Ran it. Sat quietly on it's shoulders watching nature creep up to it's edges.

Twenty-one years living, knowing this road and never, ever, not once a deer. I've explored the woods beyond the road, day after day in my youth and even now in my later youth and again, no deer.

So for two deer to cross the road now means something.

And according to Animal Speaks,

deer signal gentleness and innocence. A gentle luring to new adventure is about to begin or has begun.

Somehow that leads me to my right brain, the random, intuitive, holistic, synthesizing, subjective, looking at the whole part right brain. The one which controls the left side of my body. The very side of my body experiencing all the pain.

And I feel I'm being completely hypocritical thinking or even talking about being intuitive, holistic, synthesizing, subjective, looking at the whole.

Why? Because I'm a detail freak. No, maybe not a freak but I do like to get lost in the details. Details are fun. They are intriguing in their own right. They pull all of the larger pieces together, if you know what those larger pieces are.

They are important, especially to businesses being built on connection, empathy and compassion, which also want to use technology. And it makes me wonder if what you tell me is true, when I look at your details.

For instance, you capture my attention with your spoken words. You suggest I subscribe to your newsletter or download your special report.

Yet when I do, do you continue the conversation with me on the page you send me to after I click 'submit' or 'gimme' or whatever you've put on the button?

Oh no, you walk away, leaving a generic message speaking for you.

At first, I give you the benefit of the doubt, but I'm watching, carefully because I want your actions to ring true with your words.

Oh, uhm, wait, way to get off track and go into rant mode on the All That Seems Random.

So what was I talking about? Yes, right brain intuitiveness and deer and the gentle heralding of something new and new for me is Reiki, Japanese energy work - a healing technique of sending life energy through the body by placing hands on or above the body in specific positions.

The deer and the Reiki happened on the same night. The awareness that the right brained controls the left side of the body happened the following day.

I'm not even sure where to go with that, so I'll leave it right where it is.

The intent and intuitively guided party starts tomorrow. Over at the new house of ItyBytes. Don't be put-off that there's no color on the walls yet.

All the furniture (previous posts and comments) have been moved in and situated. I haven't put my stamp of personality on it yet. I'm hoping to do that publicly.

As well as discuss details, systems and processes along with randomness, intuition and holism.

And then there are the notes found on the desk this week:

• paraphrasing Paul Lemberg - "Your world, left to it's own devices, will self organize around you but it's not going to look the way you want it to." (He's talking about using your time wisely and this quote is paraphrased from the first video on the page.)


• "There will be people only you can unlock." ~ Suzanne Evans ~


• What memories are my right people likely to have, that color their perceptions of various symbols both explicit and implicit in my words? When were those symbols imprinted and what was the prevailing social norm then?


• Do a SWOT and read the first 20 pages of Marketing School from Naomi Dunford. (It's not an affiliate link, I'm USING everything I can get my hands on about marketing from sources I trust and she's one of them.)

That's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

--

LaShae

P.S. - Now about the party. I'm not certain yet what's going to happen during the party. If you really want to know, you have to show up in the new home of -----> ItyBytes <------ I'll see you there.

P.P.S. - And I'll post updates here, how about that?

Automatic Response Mechanism | All That Seems Random Fridays # 24

Wow, it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random Fridays, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires. Because we need to CELEBRATE them.

We're coming up on the 6 month & 1 missing week anniversary and I'm celebrating, just before Black Friday and just after Friday the 13th.

I'll talk more about the celebration in next weeks All That Seems Random and hope you'll be ready to party with me all week long starting on Saturday November 14th and going through Friday November 20th.

Now about that Automatic Response Mechanism or ARM for short.

If someone throws something your way, towards any part of your body, your ARM moves out to either capture it or deflect it away from you. If you believe it will be harmful or it's fully unexpected the ARM usually tries to deflect it. If you're expecting it or your reflexes have been trained to capture objects moving toward you, you grab for it.

Either way, it's a reflexive motion that you don't think about much before it occurs.

So I've been noticing the other 'reflexive' or 'automatic responses' I have this week.

One of the most insipid 'automatic responses' I noticed in myself this week is to always want to respond, with something, anything at all to break the silence, answer the question, ask another question, gain clarity, ease the tension, point out the obvious - you get it. I just can't stop myself.

I noticed this tendency as I sat with the pain in the butt. The one I held for almost a month, which went away in earnest and returned with a thankfully brief vengeance. Most of this week there was soreness, no pain.

The week was calm, easy, fairly relaxed. I did lots of talking out loud to no one in particular, asking questions and practicing my listening skills.

I also did some work - a little for myself and a little for clients.

Then last night, I got stressed. I'm still not sure what the stressor was but the pain came back.

This morning it lingers. Wafting in and out and I'm wondering how much of this pain is an automatic response mechanism, an ARM, or in my case a leg, which is trying to capture or deflect the expected and unexpected being tossed my way.

Because of this there were notes, not found on my desk this week.

Instead this week were uhm, 'sightings' and 'actions'.

Sightings (Having a digital camera would have helped me convey the sightings to you better but oh well, you'll just have to take my words.)

• the almost indecipherable and abstract diagram on the top of the Advil bottle. My first thought about it was how perfect a stamp it would make
• the sad, worried, shocked chicken face in the flower on the curtains in my office. I've named her Petunia Poultre
• Mockingbirds everywhere I look

Actions

•  Handing out my first business card
• Getting more clarity on who I serve and how I serve them
• Getting ready for a party (I've never thrown a party before)

So, that's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

--
LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 23 | Connections, Intentions, Actions

Wow, it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random Fridays, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires. Because we need to CELEBRATE them.

You may or may not have noticed that there was no All That Seems Random post last Friday. I intended to get it done and as the day wore on and the pain of left behind continued, I found I didn't want to...

write.
sit.
stand.
move.
transition.

work.
pretend not to be in pain. Or
be in pain either.

What I wanted was that easy, carefree, unaware state of before. Before I became aware of connections, before I became careful in my actions (more fearful is really correct but who wants to admit they are fearful of taking action.

Careful about the way, the how, they why of any movements, trying to anticipate the expected outcome, the fear of the actual outcome and of missing expected outcome.

I didn't want any of it and the rejection of it, I believe is showing up as this physical manifestation of pain I am feeling. It started as a rejection of my feelings and my thoughts.

It amazes me. I remember many months ago, writing a story about this pain, the one I'm having now, still plaguing my transitions. I don't remember the gist of the story. I don't even remember if I wrote it down or if it was just one of the ones I held in my head.

I haven't looked through any of my writing journals. I don't want to. I don't want to confirm or deny the remembering.

I'm okay with that.

It's funny as I write this, I can feel my body actually responding to this letting go in text form. I feel the places I'm holding that tension.

It's not a good feeling and yet it is a good feeling, the awareness of it anyway. I wonder what joy and freedom feel like in my body. I wonder what else I'm holding onto, that I need to let go of. I intend to find out.

It would appear there aren't any notes to finish up with, so I'm going to go sit with my feelings - pain, tension, awareness and everything else.

That's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

--
LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 22 | Left Behind, Left Back

Wow, it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random Fridays, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires. Because we need to CELEBRATE them.

This week, whew hard, painful and productive, and did I mention painful?

The title of this weeks Randomness isn't some cheeky attempt at humor or subtle attempt  either. Literally, my left behind hurts, from my sitz bone all the way down to the soft spot behind the knee.

It's locking up and spasmodic and in general causing much pain when I transition from sitting to standing or vice versa.

Ahh transitions. Interesting things transitions. Merriam-Webster shows the word transition can be used two ways and offers four definitions -

Noun - 1 a : passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another : change b : a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another

Noun - 2 a : a musical modulation b : a musical passage leading from one section of a piece to another

Noun - 3 : an abrupt change in energy state or level (as of an atomic nucleus or a molecule) usually accompanied by loss or gain of a single quantum of energy

Intransitive Verb - to make a transition <transition into college>

So what transitions are happening in my life that I am finding painful? What patterns have I previously followed, that I'm repeating now?

Did I pull or strain something, literally, figuratively or metaphorically?

Is this the residual stuff that is always "left behind"?

After consulting Louise Hay's book " You Can Heal Your Life", she says:
- Buttocks represent power.
- Joints represent changes in life and the ease of these movements
- Legs carry us forward in life.
  - Leg Problems
     - Upper holding onto old childhood traumas.

See I've been trying to earn my living online and not seeing the success I feel I should be seeing. It's easy to give up. It's easy to call it a failure and walk away, if it didn't actually hurt to move from sitting to standing.

If I were smart, I wouldn't have made such a hasty transition from my job, that dreaded cubicle to online "not a millionaire yet" marketer.

I could have taken my time. I could have planned. I could have put systems in place, found what worked and then worked them hard and worked them good. I could have built my income to the levels I needed before leaving my job. I could have tested, tweaked, re-tested and now have a steady income from my online endeavors.

That's an excuse. Leaving my job hastily didn't stop me from doing those things. Not knowing to do them is what stopped me.

I didn't understand what was necessary, not really, to make money online. I'm almost ashamed to admit, I thought it was a matter of slapping up a site, putting some affiliate links on it and in would roll the money.

Fooled me.

Deb Owens said in her Newsletter, "If you've started a business and are surprised by how much you are faced with yourself, don't be. You're all there is now, so where you are in your life will directly affect your business. It's okay, it happens to all of us."

No, I didn't expect to meet myself, deal with old childhood trauma, face fear, feel shame, or make painful transitions.

However, what I have learned during the last two years is how to use the technical systems and automation tools to really make an online business hands off, without making it feel like a robot.

I'm certain my transitioning isn't done yet. I'm certain because I'm still breathing and changing.

As for notes on the desk this week:

• FTC changes the rules for endorsements. Note: Clicking that link will open the text in pdf format of the Revised Endorsement and Testimonial Guides. So I'm supposed to give specifics for the typical user and be clear about any material relationship I have when suggesting, reviewing or discussing items, products & services. Damn I better only sell to aytpical users.
  
• Educate, Empower, Entertain and Sale - creating value for the audience is key to making money with webinars (or pretty much anything else.) ~ Jim Edwards & Chris Zavadowski ~
  
• "A lie is an attempt to influence another persons decisions with inaccurate data." ~ Paul Myers from "Idea Spot". Note: If you click the hyperlinked text up there and purchase the Power Creativity System, I make a small commission from the sale.

That's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

--
LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 21 | First Start

Wow, it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random Fridays, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires. Because we need to CELEBRATE them.

Sometimes starting is hard. Yet, it's not really the starting that's hard, it's all the stuff that's going to come after the starting. On some instinctual level we know this.

That initial burst of energy isn't going to sustain us, so we don't want to just use it on whatever, because then we lose it.

Facing those issues we fear will come up, that we didn't deal with when they were small and more manageable. Not believing we have the strength to deal with those issues or new issues now because they'll be so big and complicated and confusing and embarrassing and ugh.

Maybe it's the uncertainty of not knowing what repercussions or consequences our starting is going to create and whether we can handle them or if we even want to handle them.

Maybe, we're thinking starting right where we are isn't really possible because we need all these other things to make it worthwhile, look good, feel good, be right, be better, work out or not fail.

So we don't start. Instead we sigh and wish and wonder.

What if we started with exactly what we have? What if we made a real and honest list of the resources we do have and then started using those very same resources, in new unconventional ways?

What if... ?

Yeah exactly, what if?

Where does your mind go when you begin saying the words, what if? Do you get inspired by the possibilities? Do you come up with new and novel connections? Or do you go to the opposite end of the spectrum and look at all the things that could go wrong? All the ways won't work and don't help?

Where is the middle ground? Don't both of these 'what if' scenarios need to be inspected? And when inspected what do they look like? What is the very worst that can happen? What is the very best that can happen? And then what really happens?

This last one can't be inspected until after the start. And as long as you or I never start, we never know what really happens. When we start and fail, we know what didn't work. So next time we do something different. When we start and miss our expectations, we know what did work and we can do it more - more effectively first, more efficiently after. We can adjust when needed.

But only if we start.

I can tell you right now exactly what will happen if you never start. Nothing. Oh sure life will continue. Life will change and nothing will be different in relation to that thing you want. You'll still be the same distance away from it, even though it will feel even further. That's how time tricks you. You will still be wishing you had and wondering 'what if'.

So start already. Start right where you are. Decide what you want. Be honest about the resources you have. Start using those resources. Trust what you need will come, once you have a clear and specific desire.

Maybe it starts as a want. What do you want more of, what do you want less of? Then it moves to a wish. You wish you could, you wish you might. Eventually it becomes a desire.

Once it reaches desire, all the stuff that shows up may throw you off course a little, but your desire will keep burning. Not much is going to stop you.

You first have to determine what you want. What you really want and what you really feel about what you want.

Floating along, allowing life to take you where ever it takes you isn't a bad way to live, unless you don't like where life is taking you.

Start now to change the direction of your life. You can do it.

Not sure what you want? Take fifteen or twenty minutes a day for the next 7 days to figure it out.

If you're not even sure how to start figuring it out, sign up for the THRiViNG! Life email series. It will walk you through determining exactly what you desire and help you create the map to get you there. Plus you'll get inspirational quotes, access to interviews of people on the journey who have tips and strategies to help you keep moving forward. Oh did I mention it's also completely free to sign up?

You know you want something different. Start right where you are.



As far as notes on the desk this week: There were none.

That's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

--
LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 20 | It's Really Quiet

Wow, it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random Fridays, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires. Because we need to CELEBRATE them.

We don't always hear the voice we need to listen to. It speaks mostly in whispers, until life faces death. Then it screams. I'd rather listen to the whispers than the screaming.

I had 3 errands to run and an appointment I needed to keep on Wednesday. The day was bright and a little too warm for the sweater I was wearing. Yet, I was content. The day was already going nicely and I didn't foresee any bumps in the road. Or nails for that matter.

As I pulled into the parking space, I  heard a quiet voice say "tires".

Huh, and just as quickly my mind re-focused on completing errands and getting home in time for that important phone call. I slid the gear shift into first and cut the engine.

I grabbed my list and reached to open the door.

The voice was a little louder. "Tires," it said again. Okay fine I thought - 'tires'. Yes I know this is something I need to take care of before winter. I made a mental note to add 'getting tires before winter' to some future list and dismissed it. I opened the door of the truck and climbed out.

As I passed the tail gate of the truck, the truck moved, ever so slightly and again the voice, this time insistent - "tires," it warned. I got a slight chill and again dismissed it.

I was about 10 steps away from my truck, when my head turned towards a noise behind me. I noticed glinting from my tire. Wait, tires don't glint. That isn't right. Oh! Nails. Nails are in my tire. My tire is very slack and very slick and there's nails.

I was less than a mile from Discount Tire. I made it there safely and purchased two new tires.

This is what seems really random to me though. I had planned and tried to do all of these errands in this particular location the day before. Nothing would work. My debit card got denied. I didn't have enough cash on me to make my purchases.

I didn't have enough juice on my cell phone to clear the issue. So I came home that day, after only completing one errand. I planned to go back to that side of town the next day and complete those errands.

If I had completed those errands on the initial day I tried to do them, I might have been too busy, to engrossed in doing something else to even pay attention to the quietly screaming voice, until it was too late. I might have been on the expressway, heading to an Internet Marketers of Georgia meeting.

I might have had a blow out while driving 70 miles per hour. Lots of things might have happened. Only they didn't. I'm glad they didn't. Yet it also occurs to me that the quiet voice might have been talking to me about other things that I haven't been listening to either.

I didn't want to listen to my own quiet, fully connected and fully aware voice until it screamed at me.

What would happen if we always (or at least always tried to) listen?

This weeks random notes on the desk include:

• You can't reason with someone who's head is up their a$$, because all they see, hear & smell is shit.
• How many cooks control your pot?
• What if I had permission, in my actual life, just as in Shiva Nata, to do everything wrong? - If you haven't read or aren't reading The Fluent Self blog, by Havi Brooks, you're missing out on the hippiest, almost new ageish, yoga/Shiva Nata/Stuckness Coach I've ever not really met but feel like I know person ever. Plus, I totally borrowed her Friday Chicken ritual. Huzzah!
  
• The Pope has a publicist. So does the Dalai Lama.
• The big ideas almost never seem like big ideas, at first. So, be on the lookout for little ideas that seem kind of ho-hum, ain't no thang, let me floss first, kind of ideas. Really, The Universe © www.tut.com ®

That's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?


--

LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 19 | Shaken and Stirred

Wow, it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random Fridays, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires. Because we need to CELEBRATE them.

So this week has seen the faith of friends tested, flood waters rise and begin to recede locally, the fall equinox, my own clarity and confusion. It's been a wild ride. My heart goes out to those families dealing with the uninsured aftermath of rising waters and illness and changes.

Everything really can change in an instant, which is exactly why I'm grateful for awareness and NOW. I also realize I have much more work to do to stay in the now. It's hard in the now. I want to look to a brighter future. I want to be in that brighter future, not in the now.

Mostly, I want to know for certain that change will be good, useful and painless.

Yet what change is ever really painless? We do however get to decide, let one thing go, making space for another, or struggle to keep both and lose them in an instant anyway. We mourn the loss and get mired in it or keep living in the now, allowing the mourning to happen, whenever it happens, for as long as it happens.

Until it eases on it's own or we become lost and ask for a helping hand, some gentle direction. Either way, we decide.

How we handle the change, because show up it will, whether we like it, fight it, want it or not, is what helps make us stronger. It's what gives us our power and reveals our true colors both to ourselves and the world. Still, through it all we get to decide.

While I believe in the power of positivity, I also believe in the power of negative emotions and allowing them to be instead of trying to stuff them into some positive affirmation.

The leaves fall, so new leaves can blossom, so the roots of the tree have time to rejuvenate and grow to help nourish those new leaves. The fallen leaves decay and become food, shelter and nourishment for the very same roots that helped them become in the first place.

I'm not certain, where any of this goes. I know what I want. I know I won't always get it. I know change happens, whether I like it, fight it, want it or not. I want to be a stronger person.

What do you want to be?

As for notes found on the desk this week:

• So what do you expect of yourself?
• Imagined pains have the most power.
• "Not perfection, just progress." ~ Rose Cole ~ from "Click & Get Rich" by Maritza Parra
• "Like it or not, you have to choose...You might as well know that you're choosing, and why. You will be surprised at how much simpler and easier life gets when you choose consciously." from "Need To Know" by Paul Myers, publisher of Talk Biz News - one of the best infrequently sent e-zines I've subscribed to for online success.

That's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

Photo Credit: Image from the Fall Foliage Set 2009 by Swimmor31 on Flickr.
--

LaShae

All That Seems Random # 18 | Freckles and Time

Wow, it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires. Because we need to CELEBRATE them.

Image by Leo Reynolds via Flickr

Last week saw me asking for a way to track my time commitment to various tasks. I had only two requirements. One - I can set it up quick, easy and simple. No learning curve, no downloads, no configuration. Two - It needed to be free, since my new tools budget is showing cobwebs. There was a third but it wasn't a requirement exactly. I just didn't want to spend any time looking for it.

So with all that in mind, I wrote down my starting time on a piece of recycled paper and got to work.

As I was working I ran into a question of how to integrate two seemingly disjointed ideas. A thought occurred to me about doing something I'd been putting off doing, which might actually provide help on the integration issue.

So I merrily stopped what I was doing. Thought for a few minutes about where exactly the link I needed was. Remembered. Skipped over to my twitter favorites (just one of the many reasons to have a twitter account). Found the link. Clicked it and only then did I recall the need to write down my stopping time on my paper tracking time system. Oops.

Oh well, just a few minutes.

Then I noticed, after spending an inordinate amount of time with Kelly Parkinson on her blog, doing what I had been avoided because ewww talking about myself in third person. After doing the exercise, I did have a better understanding of what the integration issue was really about.

And I found Let's Freckle.

Thank you Kelly Parkinson.
 
Hmm random notes found on my desk this week include but are not limited to the following:

• If you're depending on someone else to define your life for you, it's going to fit their definition and you many not like it.
• You control the experience.
• Practice for one minute everyday, opening your heart completely and totally. Love has no conditions. Practice makes love grow stronger.
• Do you remember what imagining life would be like as a grown-up, when you were a child?

That's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

26 minutes to edit this post. A total of 77 minutes to bring all the random bits together. I'm really diggin' Let's Freckle (weird name, cool time tracking concept).

--
LaShae

THRiViNG! Life Maps

Here I've been wracking my brain about how to present what I'm working on. I'm supposed to use all the marketing knowledge I've gleaned. I'm supposed to push your emotional buttons. I'm supposed to state the problem and hint at the solution, so you'll be primed to take action.

I probably will on the official page for the THRiViNG! Life Maps E-course, but here on my itybites blog, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to tell you my story and how I came to create the THRiViNG! Life Maps E-course.

I've always mostly sort of done what I was supposed to do. I got a job early. I saved my money. I tried not to go into too much debt. The people around me, parents, aunts & uncles, bosses, co-workers and friends, were happy with me. I didn't cause them much grief and I typically didn't ask for much.

The kicker is, I didn't like myself. In fact, I hated myself, yet I convinced myself that as long as they all liked me, I could deal with my self hate. Which meant I had to always look the part and they could never know my truth.

After years of living this way, everything finally caught up to me. I started reading Think And Grow Rich, by Napolean Hill. Then, I tried to read Psycho-Cybernetics, by Maxwell Maltz only to realize I wasn't really ready to be that honest, with myself yet.

After that I found The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz. And I read author after author, including, Wayne Dyer, Guy Finley, Bill Harris, Don Miguel Ruiz, Mark Joyner, Jose Silva and so many others that I don't recall now.

Yet I never took any action. I never made the connection that my happiness depended on me taking actions that fit for me, not my parents, my friends or anyone else.

There were still issues to deal with, many of them still sensitive and raw. It wasn't until I made this connection and began facing my issues that I could begin seeing my happy life, the one for me.

It was also then I realized the extent of the phenomena I'm terming right now "Happiness Codependency".

Happiness Codependency is a belief, backed by actions, creating a false 'proof' that others have control over our happiness. And the need for others to maintain that control, keeps you away from any real and authentic happiness.

So I devised a plan, with the help of Barbara Sher's book "WishCraft" and lots of trial and error to find the things that truly make me happy. How I want to live my life, the values I want to be an example of, the things I want to do, the places I want to go.

I put together THRiViNG! Life Maps: 100 Simple Steps. I've been following them for almost a year. I'm happier now, even in the midst of uncertain circumstances in which I find myself.

I'd like to offer you the same steps for the cost of your personal email address and first name.

I thought about putting them on the blog and the more I thought about it, the less I liked it. I want you to get involved, ask questions, share what you find and too many people are uncomfortable doing that in such a public arena.

Just fill out the form below to get started. End your happiness codependency, it's in the best interest of everyone involved, especially YOU!



Here's how this will work. You sign up up there in that box. For the next 8 days, you'll get a short email from me which asks you to take a 15 minute action. After the 8 days, you'll make your decision. You'll be able to email me with questions or just email what you come up with for each of your days. No one but you and I will see this information.

I don't want to be your voice of reason. I want to be the voice that helps you figure out your map, so you too can begin the journey again to your THRiViNG! Life. Because we all started on this journey when we were small. We learned to walk because we wanted to. We learned to talk because we had so much to say. We learned to do all these things out of curiosity.

We asked 10,000 questions with every breath.

Then we stopped or something stopped us. We got side-tracked and led astray. We started to believe what wasn't real for us. We were trained to hide the spark. Yet it still burns in you. You want to fan the flame and you know some things are going to burn away. You're ready for that. Or you're not quite ready and you want to start anyway.

So let's get started. And I'll see you in your inbox.

Carrots are bad for you and so are sticks

If you're not able to see the embedded video click here.

All That Seems Random Firdays # 17 | The Finish for a Start for a Finish

Wow, it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe is presenting to us based on our focus and desires. CELEBRATE! them. And more keep showing up. Hide them away and they become hidden from you too.

There is a concept that I believe keeps you, me, us stuck at the idea of starting a project. Just recently, as in over the course of this week, did I gain enough understanding of the concept to only be slightly uncomfortable talking about it.

It's this idea that *sigh*
since it will never be finished anyway,
starting is really just pointless.

It's this false sense and idea of "The Finish". Most movies have 'The End' on them, just before the credits roll and just after the final slow motion scene of triumph and the hero or heroine drives off into the sunset. At least that's how the last one I saw last year ended.

Books have their final page, along with a back cover to tell us it's over, fini. It's easy to tell when laundry is done or the dishes. Okay, those two are never completed because of their mad regenerative skills but we still know when we're at the end of the current generation.

But this big, audacious scary thing that keeps calling you to do it, when is it done?

Can you call it done whenever you've done the work and it feels done? What does 'feel done' feel like? Is there a place or point when your mind releases you and you can step back and view all that you've created. Where you say, Yes! and are pleased with what you have done? According to my minister friend, it's called having faith.

Is finding an intuitively conceived cut-off date going to create the finish you're wanting, so even though it's not carved in stone, you know you're working towards what your intuition says is a finish?

Maybe taking the time to imagine, writing down what you imagine and working towards that as your finish, is the way to go.

Which ever course of action you choose, removing the resistance and clutter from your mental capabilities surrounding whether you'll know when it's finished with you or your finished with it, actually helps you get started.

Once you've removed the 'how will I know when it's done' question, you can begin figuring out your plan and drawing up your map, taking the actions and creating the big, audacious thing so that is everything you want it to be and then some.

Now, does that feel better? Knowing there are ways to figure out the finish, so the fear of not knowing the finish isn't what's stopping you from getting started?

If you're not ready to find the way that works best for you to determine your finish, consider it's not time for you to do your thing yet or you don't need to know if it's ever finished. That's just as okay too.

If you're using the 'how will I know it's finished' as an excuse to NOT to get started and you're feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, stuck or otherwise sighing in resignation, find your 'finish' and then get started.

But maybe, that isn't what's stopping you from getting started?

If you're still trying to figure out where or with what to get started, then look out for an announcement from me on Thursday September 17 at 10 am EST time.

Oh yes, I don't want to forget the notes on my desk:

• The web is about empowerment, inspiration, motivation, exploration, discussion, exchange and communication. Use multiple platforms to spread your message.
• What are you motivated by - carrots or sticks? Once you know - carrots or sticks - then find what kind of carrots or sticks.
• Wishing to wanting to planning to doing to having. ~ Wyatt Woodsmall ~
• "Having the courage to act alone when you know you're in the right is yet another sign of personal growth." Robert Ringer
• You don't have to become an Internet Marketer to take some parts of what they do and form them to support your service business.
• It's better to be loved or hated, than tolerated. Polarization is your greatest ally. - paraphrased from Jay Abraham

That's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

--

LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 16 | Show Up, Be Honest

Wow, it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random, where we share how aware (or not) we are of the events, people and opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires. Because we need to CELEBRATE them.



This has been one really busy week. However, that's good. It's been busy good with only the slightest hint of grrrr. I like weeks like this.

The focus has been on figuring out how to move forward with the ItyBites to 10K Challenge. Yes, I know if you clicked over there, it's an echo-ey cave, bereft of well, pretty much anything. Yes, I wrote one article. Yes, I posted it to Hubpages. Yes, it made me a few cents. Literally. Then of course I didn't repeat any of those actions. Something about cleaning up the writing and up comes ugh and grrr.

I have trouble editing, my stuff. I can edit other peoples work with ease, yet my own, ugh, grrr. Which leads me over to my new Mastermind group. If you aren't familiar with the idea of Mastermind groups, Napolean Hill talks about them in "Think and Grow Rich". He defines the "Master Mind" as a "coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people for the attainment of a definite purpose" (Think and Grow Rich, pg 192).

So the group is going to do a round robin style editing process, because apparently I'm not the only one with an issue of this nature. Go figure.

Another big advantage of a Master Mind group is you are automatically surrounding yourself with people in a spirit of harmony. And who could use more harmony in their life?

That's only the start of it. Accountability, idea generation, brain storming, unbiased feedback, yeah Master Mind groups, I should qualify this, good Master Mind groups, are the glue that pulls all your little pieces together.

This was NOT something I expected to receive from attending the Niche Affiliate Marketing System Workshop. That's why you really ought to join me in January 2010 for the NAMS 3. The price is still reasonable, yet it will increase. Mark my words, David Perdew doesn't play those marketing games. If you wait too long you will pay the $697 price. So click up there and reserve your spot for less than half the full price right now.

Oh boy, lots of random notes this week. So many that I'm not even going to try and share them all.

• "[Fall] in love with the needs, wants, and desires of [your] target market." ~ Sonia Simone ~ (No there is no direct link to the article because it was part of the Teaching Sells pre-launch informational process, which is completely gone once Teaching Sells closes to new members. And yes, they are closed. Still, dig into the archives of Remarkable Communication. You'll find even more gems.)
• "Stillness is what is left when you cease to identify with effort". ~ Robert "Butch" James ~
• "Do or do, there is no die." ~ Rhonda Cort ~
• "The destination is what helps you determine what the journey looks like." ~ Gina Gaudio-Graves ~
  
• "Try to ride a bicycle standing still." ~ Maxwell Maltz ~
• Do you have all the 'whats' to put the system together? (Me asking myself)
  

That's it for me, what random events, people and opportunities are showing up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

Make Money Online Mondays | Using PLR

On Friday I mentioned the fact that I purchased private label rights to an e-book. There are tons of people who don't believe it's proper to use other peoples words and pass them off as their own. Nor do I.

However, if you have a reputable source for information, one who can and does research, verify and organize information in a meaningful way, then why wouldn't you use it, especially when it is offered for use?

Still you may not even know exactly what Private Label Rights are? Or what's the best policy for using them? And yes, there are times when you should never use them.

Nicole Dean answers those questions and clears up any confusion below. (I go to the source whenever I can and she's the source for some seriously well written articles.) Okay, I've babbled enough.

Nicole - over to you.

PLR and Ghostwritten Articles: Are they Ethical?
by Nicole Dean

Recently, in an interview, I was asked “Is it ethical to use private label rights and ghostwritten articles?”

Let me step back a moment and explain… Private label rights (or PLR) articles and ghostwritten articles are used by web owners as a method of outsourcing some of their content.

• PLR articles are packages of articles that are pre-written and sold to more than one person. (We recommend this site for your PLR needs.)
• Ghostwritten articles are articles that are written by someone else just for you that you can put your name on and are not sold to anyone else.

In both cases, you are allowed to edit the content as much or as little as you’d like and use the articles on your website, blog, or in your newsletter.

So, back to the question. Is it ethical? My answer was, “usually, yes”.

If you’re using the articles and saying “written by me” without changing anything at all, it may bite you in the butt later, when someone else does the same thing. Does that make it unethical? Not really. It’s just not smart. Can you use the article as it is or edited slightly, without saying it was written by you? Of course!

Most PLR packs are written by ghostwriters. Ghostwriters are professional researchers and writers. If you purchase well-written, informative PLR or ghostwritten articles and share them with your readers, don’t you all benefit? Your readers benefit by getting great information. You benefit by saving time. Is it any different than hiring a graphic designer or webmaster? Not in my opinion. Heck, most politicians don’t write their own speeches. They leave that to people
who are professional speech writers.

Of course, you’d want to only use top-notch PLR articles and not “sell-out” just to pump out blog posts or web pages quicker. We recommend you research thoroughly before choosing any ghostwriter or PLR service.

Here’s what to look for in a PLR service so you don’t waste your money:

1. Make sure the articles are written well.
2. Make sure that you know what topics you’ll receive (instead of some grab-bag of articles).
3. Be sure that the people running the program have some experience in article writing themselves, so they know what they’re doing.

There’s no point in doing everything on your own, especially if you dislike writing. All successful business people outsource the tasks they are not good at or dislike. Check it out. It might take some pressure off you and allow you to spend more time with your kids. And, that’s definitely ethical.

Nicole Dean welcomes you to check out EasyPLR.com – where you’ll find high-quality PLR articles on niches sold in very limited quantities.

All That Seems Random Fridays # 15 | Git 'Er Duuun

Wow it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random, where we share how aware (or not) we've been of the opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires.

This week started off with lots of focus and determination. I began barreling through my action list and noticed a pattern. Not a good pattern either. Following suggestions from speakers at the Niche Affiliate Marketing System Workshop, I chose 3 things from my master TADAH! list, to spend the first part of my day accomplishing.

The action list included:

1. Purchase PLR (private label rights) for an e-book. (I'll talk more about what I'm doing with it on Monday.)
2. Edit the articles I've written to promote the e-book.
3. Upload the e-book to my hosting account.
   

Bright and early Monday morning my list of 3 is waiting on my desk. Beckoning me to begin. And I do. I purchase PLR rights for the e-book. One thing down, two more to do. I open the file with the articles. Wow I wrote 6 articles. I didn't realize that. Okay, so now I've got to edit all six of them. Uh-huh, sigh...

As the sigh fades, my internal critics diatribe, dialogue,, chatter starts - You're not going to get all that done today. You know you're just fooling yourself if you think you're going to get ALL OF THAT done. Then when you don't get ALL OF THAT done you're going to beat yourself up and feel completely useless. Phfft, that's right keep fooling yourself with what you think you can do, that you never get done. It's okay. I"ll be here to keep you company and keep reminding you that you suck at finishing things.

I hear this internal critic start up and realizes she is completely right. I'm am going to beat myself up for not getting it done. I've just set up an unrealistic situation for myself, which confirms that I don't finish and that I don't keep my own word.

My action list of 3 has magically morphed into 7, 9, 12, 14 actions to do today. Action 2 is to edit 6 articles. That's six separate, but same actions. Action 3 is to upload the e-book. It sounds straight forward, only, to properly use PLR material, it has to be rewritten in my voice, with my experiences, then edited for flow, proofread, edited again, properly formatted, then converted to pdf and finally uploaded. Plus, there could be steps I'm missing.


AH-HA.

Sooooooo....

I ask myself a question. What on my new and expanded list is as easy as going to the bathroom? What if I edit one article at a time? Ohh then I'll get 7 items accomplished. Hi fiving myself, celebrating getting more done and maybe not getting everything done. Excited jumping up and down. Do a little dance so my inner child is happy too.

Then I do that for the next 4 days. Yep, Ity Bites people. Ity Bites.

The random notes found on my desk this week, reinforced the learning practiced above:

• "I hope that you will see that no matter where you're at right now in the process of becoming ... YOU CAN DO THIS! Don't ever let anyone, including yourself, tell you otherwise ... Don't condemn yourself to a life of servitude to circumstances and to what others say. How dare they say that about you when you don't know that much about you. Discover who you are. Quality will flow from you because whatever it is you are will shine so brilliantly in your work." ~ John Harricharan ~
  The entire video is below.
  
  


• "...all you need to do is get hip to the simple, easy process of doing what needs to be done to attain what you want." ~ John Carlton ~
  
• Your biggest competitor is you. (From a random salesletter about a Hot Dog Cart Business of all things)
• You must not only want what you want, but you must want what it leads to. French Proverb (thanks go to martinbogo for the share on plurk)
  

That's it for me, what random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?
--
LaShae

Make Money Online Mondays*

*This may or may not become a weekly occurring post.

Wow, I know I keep talking about the Niche Affiliate Marketing System Seminar Workshop and it's because I gained so many insights about where I am and what I want to do to get to where I want to be.

I'm going to repeat the last part of that sentence again - what I want to do to get to where I want to be.

You can gain the same sort of insights about your online endeavors too, by attending the next workshop in January 29, 2010 or you can get the physical 2 Gigabyte thumb drive with the presentations, audios and bonuses from both of the workshops that happened this year.

Now about this make money online thing.

Since I've been online, one thing has always been constant. Me floating from one thing to another ... to another ... then another ... and yet another. Yet I've wondered why income was not increasing.

Uh, DUH if I don't do what gives results and keep doing what doesn't give results, what do I results do I expect to get?

It's true, at least I see that it's true for the people I trust who provide services, connect, create and market products online. They provide value. So what am I doing wrong? (It's a rhetorical question.)

That's just it. I'm doing what I was told to do right? And I'm still not making the money online I want to make. So again, what am I doing wrong?

(screeching brakes) STOP! HOLD IT!

That is the wrong question.

The question to ask is What have I done that generated results? The question to ask after answering the first question is, Did I do the thing that generated results again and again and again?

Yeah, well now it's pretty obvious I wasn't because I keep getting no results. And if I'm getting no results, then I must be doing the things that were getting me no results, instead of what did get results.

That part is pretty simple. I still needed to know what actions get me results.

It's just one more reason to connect in person with people you trust, who are successfully doing what you want to do. It will make your learning curve much less bumpy and you'll get unexpected, yet much needed insights.

If you can't attend or aren't ready to attend make sure to find someone you can trust in whatever area you want to make your money online and find ways to connect with them. Most marketers have blogs and email newsletters you can join. Join them, interact. There is no reason you can't do this. Unless of course you don't do it.

It doesn't take money to get started. It takes courage, desire and action. Those things are free.

--

LaShae

Take small bites - get filled up.

All That Seems Random Fridays # 14 | Yes No Maybe

Wow it's Friday again which means it's time for All That Seems Random, where we share how aware (or not) we've been of the opportunities the universe has presented to us based on our focus and desires.

This week really started last Saturday during the Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar, which is really more workshop than seminar. I worked as an aide and on my own business to get it up and running. I would absolutely recommend going to the next Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar, scheduled for January 2010. Read more about it.

NAMS2Letter

And if you're ready to sign up just go the here.



I met some amazingly great people and joined my first local Meet-UP, ever.

For those who don't know, attending this seminar began as a random email to David Perdew, the founder, in which I asked to be an aide.

I asked.

That's all it took. He emailed back and said yes!

There is magic in asking.

Sometimes we have to ask multiple times. We'll get no as an answer often. Always be prepared for a yes, so you're ready to run with it, because it will come.

While there are other ways of getting answers, asking is the fastest way.

The random notes found this week include:

• You've got to want it like you want air, or like your heart beat. The actions to attain it are rooted and happen without your conscious thought. To get to that point takes work.
• "Marketing is about convincing people to take a specific action." ~ Roy Miller ~
• "It's as though when we start searching, we get caught on the 'searching' and can't deal with finding." ~ Isabel Joely Black ~ @TheCharmQuark on twitter
• When you have to have someone else agree with you, it's a sure sign you don't yet agree with yourself. ~ LaShae Dorsey ~
  

And even more randomness from my email inbox. Today, just before I hit submit on this post. Another note from TUT - you know Totally Unique Thoughts from the Universe. This note made my inbox at 3:33 AM and that was 10 hours ago. (No I don't know much about numerology and numerical sequences but I do recall 10 is completion and 3's are the Trinity.)

Oh, that's easy! You should have asked ages ago!
Let's put it this way: To perform like a "star", to steal the show, and to party with the "Gods" ... take the stage, do the dance, and invite yourself.

Be the spark,

The Universe

Thoughts become things ... choose the good ones! ®
© www.tut.com ®

C'mon, we're waiting ... and these shoes are killing me.

That's it for me, what random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

--
LaShae

The Composition of Hard

Way too many of us, me included, label things as hard.

"It's hard to break bad habits."
"It's hard to start something new."
"I'm having a hard time dealing with ______________. (You filled in the blank didn't you.:)

I've got a theory about hard. Hard is a texture, it's a composition. It's scientifically measurable using Moh's Scale of Mineral Hardness or one of the many other hardness scales.

Hardness is defined as the property of a material that enables it to resist plastic deformation, usually by penetration. However, the term hardness may also refer to resistance to bending, scratching, abrasion or cutting. (Courtesy of http://www.gordonengland.co.uk/hardness/)

Following this definition, the material we have to work with is our thoughts and actions. It's our thoughts about the actions needed, the new and possibly scary something and our feelings about whatever you said when you filled in the blank. We use our thoughts and actions to resist changing. Our thoughts have to be penetrated by new thoughts.

All of the things we want are composed of steps, processes, knowledge and actions we don't currently have and haven't yet experienced. Yet there are plenty of people who have experienced them.

Children see adults walking. And that child decides she wants to walk. At first there are only small movements forward. Before they can walk, they have to learn to turn over. They then learn to push up on their hands and knees or scoot along on their belly. After learning that skill they continue to add to it, crawling, pulling up on things, taking steps while supported and finally taking those first steps alone. They fall down often and cry for a minute, then they get right back up.

Before long you can't catch them, they're running and giggling and having a glorious time. When just a few months ago, they couldn't even turn over on their own.

Us grown ups, we start thinking about how hard something is and we think it's going to be hard to turn over. We think it will be hard to just scoot along for while. We think we'll never run ...

It's. Not. Hard.

It is a composition of new thoughts, actions and experiences.

We want to use hard as an excuse because we think we should know this already or be able to do that better. Should we?

Should we know how to crawl before we can turn over? Should we know how to run, if we can't yet walk?

I'm guilty of those beliefs. I'm guilty of thinking it's hard. I'm even guilty of wasting time being upset with myself for believing and thinking those things. It's a waste of good energy to keep believing and thinking that way.

We don't have to keep lying on our backs kicking our legs in the air in frustration.

This is a small part of what I learned this past weekend networking and helping at the Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar. You can experience the same information when you listen to the presentations from the speakers which you can get here.

If you can't yet turn over or crawl, the beginners rooms in the Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar will get you crawling along. If you can already crawl, the intermediate room will give you the support you need to pull yourself up. If you're already walking, the advance room will get you running, laughing and giggling your way to a sustainable business.

I'll be listening to the Intermediate presentations so next January I'm ready to run.

So what are you ready to do? Are you going to keep calling it hard and lying on your back or are you ready to take the next step from exactly where you are, using exactly what you have right now?

It's time to roll over. You can do this. I'm here to help.

I'll end this with a quote from TUT (Totally Unique Thoughts from The Universe)

The real reason so many have trouble with baby steps, --doing all they can, with what they've got, from where they are, no matter how humble or seemingly futile -- is because they haven't yet grasped that the baby steps trigger unseen forces that throw wide the floodgates of unstoppable momentum, infinite abundance, and eternal life.

Just some tiny steps,

The Universe

 Thoughts become things ... choose the good ones! ®

© www.tut.com ®

Just as an FYI, if you want to attend the next Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar, sign up before the end of day Monday, August 31st to receive the biggest savings. If you know you can't attend in January, go ahead and get the Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar Thumb Drive which has all the presentations, questions, training material and bonus material from the last two workshops. I'm positive the price on the thumb drive is going up but right now, just before posting this it was still $97. Use the code on the bottom of the page to get that price.

I hope to see you there and help you here.
--
Keep taking ItyBites!

Until next time,

LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays #13 | I'm At The Niche Affiliate Seminar

It's not Friday the 13th, but this is the 13th All That Seems Random Friday. I'm attending the Niche Affiliate Marketing System Workshop in Atlanta.  I'll be here all weekend, helping workshop attendees, meeting new people, learning tons and tons of information and applying it during and after the workshop.

The random notes from this week:

 

• Someone asked me on Saturday: Why do it now, it's not that bad is it? Me: It's called maintenance, why wait until it's 'that bad'?
• Sometimes the answer really is staring you in the face, if you want to see it.

There is much randomness to discuss, yet it will have to wait until next week. Until then what random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

 
--
LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 12 | but, But, BUT. . .

It's Friday and boy it got here fast. I woke up thinking it wasn't Friday at all. And suddenly I realized, yeah it actually is Friday, wow and this weeks All That Seems Random is just gone, disappeared because I did a lot of oh, but I'll...

Like I had something and I said oh, but I'll remember that. It's too good to forget. Obviously although it was good, I forgot it.

Then there was this other thing and yeah oh, but I'm sure to remember this. It's so important and funny. Erm, not so much.

So my apologies for not actually writing them down so I could tell you about them. It's been a tough week. And I've been napping a lot.

I did write down some random tidbits this week.

• [You] can't intelligently use what [you] don't consciously know [you] have. I'm not sure where I got the quote from since I didn't write it down.
• The biggest mistake is to keep making the same mistake, even after you know it's a mistake.
• There is a difference between self-deprecation and humility. With the first you have a need to make yourself look less than. With the second there are no underlying needs.

That's what I've got.

What random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?
--
LaShae

All That Seems Random Fridays # 11 | Cats, Dreams and Catch 22's

The Dream In Which I Was A Child During World War II

I was walking all through this house looking at everything. I found myself in the middle of an argument between two older children about fighter pilots and who was going to win World War II. We had an older brother?, uncle? who also lived in the house, off fighting and I wandered into his room, which was just like he left it. I picked up a brush and saw a letter. It was then I saw, what I believed to be a mobile diorama above my head of Japanese and American airplanes, in a dog fight. There was lots more to the dream but the important part was, I woke up thinking about catch-22's.

How  Does All That Seem Random



A quick search revealed Heller's book Catch-22. I've never read the book, but according to Wikipedia "it's is a satirical, historical novel by the American author Joseph Heller, first published in 1961. The novel, set during the later stages of World War II from 1943 onwards, is frequently cited as one of the great literary works of the twentieth century. It has a distinctive non-chronological style where events are described from different characters' points of view and out of sequence so that the time line develops along with the plot" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catch-22).

Wikipedia goes on to say that Catch 22 refers "to absurd, no-win choices, particularly in situations in which the desired outcome of the choice is an impossibility, and regardless of choice, the same negative outcome is a certainty" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Heller).

To put it less elegantly it's that place where you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. So I say just be damned and get on with it.

When, make that, if we are honest with ourselves, the situations we label as catch 22 always have a third, fourth, fifth even tenth option we are choosing to be unaware of until we decide to become aware of it.

<Quick Aside> That whole thing about not being aware of something until you're aware of it is just weird right. Because usually it's always been there or at least the concept of it has been there for a while and yet we couldn't choose to or didn't want to see it. Other people see it though and they sometimes wrongly assume we do too. The people who see it either don't point it out or when/ if they do point it out we choose to continue denying that they've pointed it out. We dismiss it because it doesn't fit with the choices we want to allow ourselves. It's as if all those other choices just don't exist for us. </Quick Aside>

So what do catch 22's have to do with the randomosity?

Well...

Making the Connection

There was a whole diatribe describing my week but the salient and necessary point turned out to be this:

The universe provided a little nudge and said, here is a really tiny sliver of X, the same X you keep talking about having, doing, being. And my response to that tiny sliver of X went something like this: ugh, uh no, nunh unh, gah get X away from me. I don't want to have, be or do X like that. Can't I have, be, do X some other way?

and then my subconscious? unconscious? provided the answer.

No. Who do you think you are to not accept the X being provided? Especially after you've spent all this time asking for X this way and all these random events have conspired to bring you X the way you asked for it and now you don't want it?

A Clowder of Cats

A clowder is a group of adult cats. Yeah here is when random cats show, in the middle of the road and not moving out of the middle of the road as a big huge Eddie Baur Expedition barrelled towards them. No movement. None except eyes seeing me, watching me. Then when we left 10 minutes later even more cats in the middle of the road, unmoving as a Centurian rolls past.

Hmm, curious child in a dream, lots of cats maintaining their position surrounding something captured possibly, oh, yeah, it's time to get curious.

1. Is that true, I really don't want X or just don't want X the way X was coming to me, even though I was asking for X to come that way?
2. If I don't want X the way that way, am I wrong as in are the people I want to use X to serve going to look at me like I'm a flake for changing my mind and asking for X to come some different way?
3. Am I being ungrateful for X by not accepting it and being happy with it, taking it the way it's coming?
4. What is this belief that I have to accept X the way it's coming or I'm being ungrateful?

The last question led me to realize, I am grateful for the small sliver of X and the way it came because now I know that I definitely do not desire any larger amounts of X in that particular way but I still want X. Informational, helpful and now I know I can cross having, doing, being X that way off my list.

Asking those questions and having those epiphanies (were those epiphanies?) brought up some of my other stuff.

The need to be invisible, the lack of trust, the self-doubt, avoidance and fear that I'll be found out.

If X is bringing all that up, do I really want to deal with all that to get the right, best X for me? Would you, if you knew that dealing with it and moving forward even if they are ItyBites is what it takes so you can have, do and be X?

Dissolution of the Catch-22.

There is no catch 22 and yet knowing that to keep moving towards X, requires dealing with emotional stuff and ending the over/double thinking, changing the engrained bad habits and poor patterns of thought certainly makes it feel like "no-win choices...[where] the same negative outcome is a certainty".

Yet, I'm studying people, who have overcome everything and more than I'm facing. So there is no catch 22 and there is a lot of information, helpfully seemingly random information available to us, all the time.

It's up to us to make the decision to see.

Whatever it takes, right?

With that, what random events have shown up in your life, that aren't really random at all?

* X is pretty much anything you've decided and committed yourself to doing, whether publicly and/or privately.

--

LaShae

Practical and SMARTER goal setting ala Tim Brownson

You are exactly where you are now.
~Tim Brownson~

So profound. So true. So outrageous. So now.

I am exactly where I am now.

What does it mean though?

No I'm not going to answer the question directly because where in the world is the fun in that. Plus, only you know where you are now. I don't know. I can guess. I'd probably be wrong.

Also Tim mentions how our brain or rather our unconsciousness doesn't want to make us look a fool, when setting and talking about our big fat audacious goal in the present tense, which is the most suggested method for talking about our goal.

The example he uses is, "I'm a healthy weight with a body that Zeus/Apollo would kill for." Stating this goal or whatever your goal statement is, is going to press some kind of button somewhere in your psyche. Which is usually the very reason we don't make these kinds of statements in the first place.

The button is most likely going to be one of two:

No
Yes

If the button pushed is yes and your belief is also yes and the proof used to form your belief is also yes, you just might be on the verge of being a little too egotistical. Not a bad thing exactly, yet too much more yes button pushing for you just might cause your head to implode or more likely for someone to want to make your head implode. But since you have a body that Zeus or Apollo would kill for, you just shoot lightening rods from your eyes and scare them off before they actually tell you what they think about what you think about yourself.

photo by kimberlykv
However, if the answer is no, you probably feel distracted by the chocolate cake I've introduced to your imagery banks with the photo on the left. You might even feel lethargic and overwhelmed when considering the huge freaking chasm between what you really believe, "oh my good that cake looks good, I want cake" and that sentence you keep trying to tell yourself that goes

uh

how again?

Oh yeah,

"I'm a healthy weight with a body that Zeus/Apollo would kill for."

Wow, sarcasm anyone, anyone? No oh well.

And this is the funny thing and also what is known as a sign of mental illness according to some therapists, psychologists, counselors and a sign of damnation according to some clergy - both yes and no buttons being pushed simultaneously.

So how do you move forward or move at all for that matter when your yes button has your ego blown way out of reality and your no button is doing it's best to sabatoge the out of proporotion ego created by the yes button?

No, I really don't know, which is why I keep consulting therapists, psychologists, counselers and clergy. Anybody got any practical ideas?

P.S. I know that no one really comments here, mostly because I never really tell anyone that I've posted anything, so I'm going on the only fair assumption I can go on. No one sees what I talk about or I talk about it so clearly and cleverly that I use up all the words. However, honestly between you and me, or is it, you and I, whatever, if you are reading this, it's the former right?

P.S.S. Since I'm assuming you think it's the former, please leave a comment below because you have a solution or a suggestion about how to move forward while your yes button and no button are being pushed. Or if you know about exactly where you are now and just want to talk about it, you can leave that comment too. Thanks!

P.S.S.S If you don't want to comment, don't assume that you need to, at least though find me on twitter or plurk and say hi. I obviously need friends.